Hi Roz,   I agree with little_stitcher reguarding counselling.  It sounds like you're doing the worrying for the both of you &  could really use a good download session to get things off your chest.   Although Dr Google has given your hubbie less than 12 months, I would put very little stock in that, as everyone is different & responds to treatment differently.     i wish you the best. Budgie ... View more

Hello HelplessEx,   You mentioned that you feel ineligible to feel grief for him given that you're the 'ex', but don't forget that you spent alot of time & love with this man, & just because things didn't work for you, doesn't mean you don't still have some feelings.  He was a big part of your life for a long time, so you do have the right to feel fear & grief.   I feel for you being in this predicament, you've done everything you can for your daughter, but she is 18 & an adult, albeit a young one, so there is nothing you can make her do, even if it would be the right thing.   Talking always helps, but I think she is very scared that she will loose her dad & is looking to place the blame somewhere, & unfortunately, it looks like you're 'it'.  Maybe you could get her father to talk to her about what's happening with him, and that even when he does die, (even if not in the near future), she will be alright.  Life goes on.   At the end of the day there is nothing more you can do.  You can't help those that don't want to be helped, but be there for her when she needs you the most, and she will need you - even if she doesn't want to admit it.   Please take care of yourself Budgie         ... View more

Hi arvs525,   Go on your holiday!  You need a break & believe me, they won't think you're selfish for going.  How many more times will you get the opportunity to go to Japan?   If worse comes to worse, you can always cut your trip short if anything does happen.   Take care Budgie ... View more

Akhey, You day there’s no such thing as cancer, but then you say that you get skin cancers all the time. Please make up your mind.    Budgie ... View more

Hi Junine,   It sounds like you are both going through a very rough time.  Your husband might be having a hard time accepting his cancer.  Would he be prepared to speak with a counsellor?   There are counsellors you can be referred to so you can both have a chat about what is happening.  If your husband doesn't want to talk to anyone, that doesn't mean that you can't.   Don't be too hard on yourself.  You are right to take precautions.  Hugging your husband is quite ok, but if you're going to have sex, you should use a condom for protection.  You should protect yourself from all of his bodily fluids while he is having chemo.    It makes it very difficult if you have no-one to offer you any support.    Hopefully, you will continue to use this forum to talk about things that are worrying you as well. You do need to take time for yourself though.  Take a day, or even half a day to just relax and do something you want to do for yourself.   Take care Budgie     ... View more

Hi KirMuir,   Yes, you definitely should go back and get it checked again!  And if you're again told not to worry about it, I'd go to another doctor to get a second opinion just to make sure.  There is no harm in being extra careful.  I'd rather be sure when it comes to things like this.   Take care Budgie   ... View more

Hi Gin, I am very sorry for the loss of your brother.  It’s never easy when someone close to you dies.  I hope you are well & looking after yourself.    Questions are always good. Sometimes you don’t get the answers you want.  Overall, though, I don’t think death is talked about enough in society.  It’s almost like it’s a taboo subject.  I think talking about death can only be a good thing.  It can prepare people for the inevitable. That’s not to say that it won’t hurt like hell when it happens to a loved one, even if you’ve talked about it alot. But it might make things a little easier.    I have terminal kidney cancer & I talk about my death with my friends & family whenever we feel the need.  One of my daughters wasn’t coping very well to start with, but it’s been over 5 years since my diagnosis, & because we’ve talked about my cancer & my death alot she is now handling things better.  Especially when I have a little setback with how things are going.    Take care Budgie     ... View more

Hi Janisinc,   My fingers are crossed for you that the scan results are good & it hasn't spread. In my opinion, there is no such thing as too much research.  I think the more info you are armed with, the better!  It's good that you are looking at changing your lifestyle/diet.  It can only be for the better. Best of luck with everything.   Budgie ... View more

  Hi Grova,   I don't mind your contacting me at all, & laugh all you want 😀, It's good for you!   Have a wonderful day.   Budgie ... View more

  I'm glad for you that the cancer is gone.  And NO I don't think how you're feeling is silly at all.  I understand that you're feeling overwhelmed by it all, as it was done very quickly.    I also had fibroids which was the reason I had my hysterectomy.  I wasn't having any more children, & the periods were getting quite ridiculous, so I guess I went into the op wanting it.     When they took my kidney, again it was larger than usual with all the cancer through it, so, normally they take the kidney out through the back, but mine they took out through the front.  This left another long scar on my belly.   I've had a couple of other operations since, and now my belly looks like a naughts & crosses board 😂.   I've been really lucky throughout all this though because I have an absolutely wonderful husband. We download to each other all the time and joke about everything.  I now have a deposit in my right lower jaw which is quite big, & we poke fun at the shapes of my head when we go through the CT scans on our computer.  Some of the shapes look like monkey skulls, and some look like butterflies to me.     Anyway, I suppose the thing is I don't let the cancer rule my life, we get out and enjoy ourselves.     Take care 😊     ... View more