I don't even know where to start. I need to share this though.    The man who was father to me most my life got diagnosed in January of this year with stage lV throat cancer. We were sure there was no beating it. I began to grieve him before he was gone. But then things turned around, he had doctors who were so positive they could cure it. We came to find out it was HPV positive, which responds to treatment better. And it did! After some seriously brutal treatment, him dropping to only 120 pounds (maybe less), losing 7 teeth, using a feeding tube... the mass was GONE! ENT said he was in the clear. Hope had been restored. All we needed to do was wait for his scan on October 28th, to confirm it was really gone. He was in the process of recovering from treatment, gaining back his weight and his strength. Then suddenly on October 24th I got a call from my little sister, saying our dad was throwing up huge amounts of blood and dying. I rushed there with my older sister, but when I got there I was greeted by my grieving mother telling me he was gone. He died. Suddenly, unexpectedly. He had a rupture of some sort in his throat and he hemorrhaged (at least, I'm quite sure that's what it was. My mum doesn't like talking about it and doesn't want to know because she fears she didn't care for him enough and should have taken him in).    He was scared in his last moments. Terrified. Choking. He was scared before, in previous weeks, worrying about dying from cancer if for some reason it spread. He fought so damn hard. SO damn hard. I have so many texts from him about all the positive reports, telling me he was getting better. He had faith, after being an atheist most of his life. He trusted God. He trusted the doctors. I just don't understand how this could happen. He was supposed to be here with us, celebrating his birthday on October 29th. He was going to be 58.   I just don't even know. I feel like I'll never get better. I lost a sister 10 years ago and somehow totally have forgotten what grief feels like. Every situation is SO unique. It hurts so much.  ... View more

In January my stepdad was diagnosed with throat cancer, and recently we’ve found out it’s in stage lV. It has moved to his jaw bone (the 4mm growth). I don’t know all the details — he has been going to his appointments alone, and then relays the information to my mother who then tells me. But recently he was supposed to go in for a biopsy, but they can’t do it without first removing (all?) his teeth, his (entire?) tongue,  and his (entire?) jaw bone. I put my questions because I don’t know if this is the whole truth or if it’s being exaggerated, and only some parts of these things need to be removed. Anyway, I don’t think he’s going to have these things done. I said he should see a few more ENTs and get some second and third opinions, quickly. My mother claims all their sites say they do the same procedures for stage lV. They want to see a holistic doctor instead. How reliable is a holistic approach at this point?    Honestly I’m terrified and their not taking action makes me even more terrified. Does anyone here have any experience with stage lV throat cancer, are these the procedures that always must be done? Are there other options? Will holistic work? ... View more