Just read your post and it's so similar to what I'm going through. It's been exactly one month since my mom passed away from stomach cancer and it's been so painful. She was only 58 and the healthiest person I've ever known. I'm 25 and during my whole life she's been my one and only best friend. The relationship we had was so close and it's so hard to think that I'm not going to see her anymore. Thoughts of regret come and go daily, I wonder if I could have done things differently to make her feel better or if I could have been a better daughter to her. I have tried to do painting as a hobby as it has distracted me. However, I think it's time now for me to stop keeping all of these feelings inside and actually seek for a professional's advise as I can't cope with this on my own. I don't actually have an advise for you but I think it should be good for you to talk to someone that can actually guide you through all of this and even though she's not with you, her love for you will never fade away
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