I agree... with your life as it is there sounds like there is little joy and little to look forward to - and whether you had cancer or were fighting fit and healthy, my first thought would be "get out of there". You need to be with people who really care about you and listen to you. If nobody does, you may be better off alone! There are many of us it appears who are doing this alone. If I had the choice of horrible family or as I am - alone - I do believe I'd pick alone. Because I can choose my own friends, I know there are people who care and who will help me if I ask... and I am away from negative, using, abusive people. There are very nice, caring people online here who I don't even know but whose replies make me feel better... and not alone. Back to you... Your life is worth something. YOU are worth something. YOU are worth fighting for. Once you realize that you may find the strength to do something... a wonderful and exciting new life, a new adventure for you, can be yours if you choose... for all you know there may be others in similar positions who would, just as an example, love to move out from where they are and share with someone else who understands and who may even be in similar shoes... or who has a place and has a room they'd be happy to rent out with a caring other person... and that person could be you. Could you move back with your own family? Otherwise, have you tried talking to your husband about this? I have a friend whose heart is in the right place but her behaviour now that I have cancer sounds very similar to your husband's. I am constantly reminding her I am not an invalid and having cancer has not suddenly made me a two year old, brain dead, idiot who doesn't know what they're doing! She treats me like that and I hate it. I have taken to sneaking out to appointments without telling her because she insists on coming along and basically embarrassing me by interfering and telling nurses etc things that she has no right saying - even they look at her sideways and wonder who she thinks she is. Could be your husband thinks he is protecting you and doesn't know he has overstepped the boundaries...? Although you have also said this is an act for your family's benefit? If you are so unhappy there why are you still there? Your life IS worth fighting for but only you can steer your ship... nobody else can do that for you even if they try. And if they get away with trying to steer your ship it's only because you have stepped aside and let them. Take back your steering wheel... And keep us informed... because although we've never met, it's clear many of us do care. xx
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I am an ex thoracic surgical nurse and feel compelled to respond. Lung cancer management has very well documented pathways and it sounds like your pathway post surgery re seeing an oncologist to sign off is per standard management. Also, recommendations for ongoing care are usually confirmed via a multidisciplinary team. I would focus on getting the pneumonia under control, getting as well and as fit as possible so you can proceed with your bowel investigations. Providing you respond to you chest treatment well it should not add a big delay your bowel investigations. Bowel investigations are usually performed under sedation and not a general anesthetic so you should be OK. Jocelyn
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Morning @Darlene2020 and thanks for your feedback, I appreciate it.
Can I ask what you part of the site you found difficult to use? This helps me understand what people want or need.
We do know that a lot of people use the site, but not everyone feels comfortable sharing their stories. Which is why we have the site completely open, many prefer to read rather than posting.
I am in the process of building up the information and support available on the site and change things about, so I'd definitely love to know your thoughts good or bad. Feel free to reach out to me via email if you prefer - firstname.lastname@example.org.
Cancer Council Online Community Manager
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I also have lung cancer in my lower left lobe which was discovered incidentally during scans for another primary cancer. I'm still immunocompromised from chemotherapy for the other cancer so I'm having SBRT for the lung cancer. I can understand your apprehension about what lies ahead. I had a positive result on the home bowel screen test a few years ago and a colonoscopy revealed three pre-cancerous polyps. I'm due for another colonoscopy, as well as a mammogram, next year and after having two separate cancers diagnosed this year it all seems a bit much. Good luck with your continuing recovery from the lung surgery. Make sure they refer you for pulmonary rehabillitation.
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Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.