Hello snowflake you are special! Just know everyone in this community understands what your going through. Since I have joined I have talked to so many who have lifted my sprits. You need to know what you are going through is tuff to deal with. Dr. days, labs, scans, cemo you will find your rhythm. It's a b***h but try to avoid the emotional cancer you are putting yourself through. You get mad, feel stupid, lost & alone, feel sorry for yourself. It's hard to know how to think or act. I probably sound like a broken record for saying this but remember what's hard by the mile is easy  by the inch. If you need someone to whine to I will be more than happy to talk. Ok! Inch by inch.                                                                                              cemo-queen ... View more

Hello Anka. Sorry about your mom. Her and I are about the same age. I have terminal colon cancer which spread to my lungs. My colon was removed but cemo was the only treatment for my lungs. I was told I had months to live. That was 6 years ago. I don't want to give you false hope but you always have to have hope. It's scary just hearing that word cancer. I have learned what is hard by the mile is easy by the inch. Sounds like you are a very strong person just do the  best that you can. I'm sure your family knows this and they understand! Being there for your mom helps her more than you know. I think there is a reason why we cry, it helps. Go ahead and cry. Talk to your kids  and explain they will understand you love them. Ask them maybe they would like to help and be a part of taking care of grandma. You are not alone. This is a wonderful site with plenty of people ready to listen. If you need a shoulder to cry on I am here!!!!! Remember inch by inch. You hang in there.                                                  cemo-queen ... View more

       Hay Irishlad. You always have to have hope. You've had a rough go of a start. It can only get better after all you have been through. Sounds like you have a guardian angle looking after you! I know you will meet a lot of angels in this online community. I would love to hear more of your story. Please tell me anything you need to get off your chest. Talking to others has really helped me. There are a lot of people here who will understand what you are going through.  Hang in there!                                        cemo-queen ... View more

Migy!   I am new to this site. Your post was from May. Please tell me you have been to a Dr. since!!! Quite growing your emotional cancer and find out for sure what the deal is, hopefully it's nothing. I know your worried about the cost but waiting may cost you your LIFE. So please tell me you went! I am here and are so many other's on this site as I have learned if you need to talk.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           cemo-queen ... View more

This is to all of you who have reached out to me. I can't believe how many big hearted people I've met already. Having someone to hear me whine helps. You all lifted my spirits so much so I thought I would try to reconnect with my family and be the bigger person and try to put aside all their drama and bulls*** but they won't answer my call's. It's their loss!  Sad thing is they took my mom from me who is 93 the whole reason I sold my farm to take care of her. I moved to a new city to be close to her that's why I have no friends. My mom was my best friend. I told her I would never put her in a home. My sisters, 1/2 sisters I should say didn't feel the same. They sold her house took her money and she has gone down hill ever since.  I'm afraid I will never see her again. I have to stay here because  of my cancer. I love my Dr. and my clinic Florida Cancer. I thought I was alone but I was wrong. I love this site, can't wait to check it out several times a day. It brought me out of my slump! Thank you so much Friends.  ... View more

Hello Steelfingers  With a name like that sounds like your pretty tuff! When you said, when it rains it pours, it sounds more like you and your wife are going through a hurricane. So so sorry about your daughter. Losing Bella really hits home. I never had kids so I cant even imagine the pain you both are going through.  You should be open with your wife I'm sure she knows when your wearing your mask. It's nice to lean on someone and I know she is there for you. Sounds like you are there for everyone so you must really wear that mask well. Sounds like you are pretty cool yourself. If I do yell at you it will be to tell you take off your mask and show your smile. Remember easy by the inch. Ok pal. I'm here if you need to talk.                                                                                                      cemo-queen ... View more

Hello Jamo  Cats love running water. Give it a water fountain. Check online at pet places or you can make one with a small flower pot with no hole and a small pump and some pipe or tube. Put some rocks around the pump to hold it in place. You both win, it looks pretty plus the sound of running water can be very soothing. Maybe it will keep your kitty off your counters. Let me know if you try it. Hope it works for you. Wish you and your family well.                                                                                                                cemo-queen ... View more

Hello Budgie. So nice of you to talk with me. Love the hat! I have colon cancer, so much for eating my veggies when I was a kid. lol. I also have made my round of cemos but just when you think you have no more to try someone invents a new one. Always think positive emotional cancer will kill you quicker than the cemo. Sorry I should not joke about things like that. I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed for you and maybe even my eyes. Sorry I can't help it. keep laughing every day even at the stupid stuff it really helps. Thanks. Nice to know your out there. ... View more

Hello Pepper. Thanks for asking. Both of those poisons and many more. About ready to run out the different types they have to offer. I really did well with the effects of most of them except the pill form of capcetabine. So now I'm trying xeloda. Hope my hair wont fall out again. People tend to pity you when you wear cemo scarves. lol.  Subject #2 being a horse person I did not watch many sports on tv. I spent all my  time in my barn. I showed my horses and bred and raised race horses.  Standardbreds and quarter horses. My best friend was my dog Silver an Australian shepherd, she liked any kind of ball, mostly tennis balls. thanks again. Any time you want to talk I'm here! ... View more

  Hello new friend! Don't except that time line. They don't know, I was given months. I gave up my life with horses had a yard sale sold my stuff dirt cheap thinking the worst. That was 6 years ago. Little did they know I was to mean to die. My favorite saying is what's hard by the mile is easy by the inch, well many miles later here I am. I'm not as mean as I thought. I have learned  so many things, people do care. I love my cancer center, they are the one's who gave me the name cemo queen but I no longer receive I V treatment's so I rarely get to see them. With oral treatment's at home and covid 19 I go day's with out talking to anyone. So if you want someone to talk to no matter the subject here I am. ... View more