Alone with cancer

[cemo-queen]

I feel alone. More afraid of the internet than my cancer but I learned what's hard by the mile is easy by the inch! This is how I deal with my day one inch at a time. So I joined this internet community hoping to talk  to people who understand. looking for friends I can help like the people that I met during my six years of  cemo.  Yes six years, that's why they call me the cemo queen. I was told I had months. So never give up!!!  Let's talk.

[Budgie]

Hi @cemo-queen ,

What type of cancer do you have?  Yes, 6 years is a long time to be on chemo.  I, myself have been on a daily dose of chemo now for 8 years.  I was diagnosed with terminal kidney cancer in Aug 2012.  Had my right kidney removed, then 2 weeks later, straight onto chemo.  Been on it ever since - different types of course, as I  built up immunity to one, I had to start on a different one.  But, I've just about been thru all of the ones available to me.  So I keep my fingers crossed & my thought positive that this one will continue working for me for a long time yet.

Budgie

[cemo-queen]

Hello Budgie. So nice of you to talk with me. Love the hat! I have colon cancer, so much for eating my veggies when I was a kid. lol. I also have made my round of cemos but just when you think you have no more to try someone invents a new one. Always think positive emotional cancer will kill you quicker than the cemo. Sorry I should not joke about things like that. I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed for you and maybe even my eyes. Sorry I can't help it. keep laughing every day even at the stupid stuff it really helps. Thanks. Nice to know your out there.

[Budgie]

My husband & I always joke about things, so please feel free to continue  to joke away 😉.  I agree, you have to stay positive, & joking about death & cancer is a wonderful way to cope.

That hat!   It was my favourite.   We've lived in Darwin a few times & I never went anywhere without it.

[Steelfingers]

You are cool. Love the user name.   You know when it rains it pours.  Our 14 year old Yorkie Bella, passed over the weekend.  My wife is a mess and cried for two days.  I cried too and proud to admit it.  Bella was give to my wife by her best friend who recently died of cancer.  It was to comfort my wife when I traveled and take her thoughts off the loss of our only daughter.

Reason one, I cannot (and will not) let my wife know when I'm having a bad day.   I can hide the panic attacks but sometimes she sees right through the mask.  My sadness (fear) I guess has it's own way of showing.  

I'm good and I can handle it.   I'm getting where I can accept whatever happens and I'll do it with a smile.  

I pray for you and I'm here if you need to yell and scream.  I'll even give you my work cell.  Lot's of my staff like to yell on that one so it's well broke in, as am I.

Peace is cool.  So be cool .

Pal 

Steelfingers

[cemo-queen]

Hello Steelfingers  With a name like that sounds like your pretty tuff! When you said, when it rains it pours, it sounds more like you and your wife are going through a hurricane. So so sorry about your daughter. Losing Bella really hits home. I never had kids so I cant even imagine the pain you both are going through.  You should be open with your wife I'm sure she knows when your wearing your mask. It's nice to lean on someone and I know she is there for you. Sounds like you are there for everyone so you must really wear that mask well. Sounds like you are pretty cool yourself. If I do yell at you it will be to tell you take off your mask and show your smile. Remember easy by the inch. Ok pal. I'm here if you need to talk.                                                                                                      cemo-queen

[tree1]

Hello, I'm new on here and keeping you all in my prayers... Never doubt and always have faith and know God is with you always.  I will listen if I'm on here. Stay strong and positive.

[Steelfingers]

Hello Tree and cemo.  I'm still learning how to to this.  Had a great day today and will be working remotely from home tomorrow.  Still trying to train some young recent Grads on how things really work.  Ha.  Slept last night well.  Got in about 4 good hours and napped probably 2 hrs today.  Not bad.  Just took one magic pill, and that's good.  Try not to be foolish with them. 

I've had a wonderful time.  Life's been good to me. I think of those folks that haven't and are hurting and alone and I hope all your prayers are for them.  I'm lucky.  I have my wife who hovers over me like a .....(I was going to say buzzard and rethought it) 😎,,,hovers over me like a majestic eagle...Yep.....that's better, and I would be a scared, lost soul  in a dark room searching for the door.

Bless you all