It has taken me 11 days to return to this site and reread all my entries re my precious dad. He died 11 days ago- we finally got him down with me but he only lasted 1 day with me then back in local hospital with same problems. After a week the doctors etc told me he couldn't live with me as he was bedridden etc -that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do-let my dad know he wasn't coming home- he had not even seen his rooms set up at my place!!! He had a stroke eventually and wasn't the same again but I am SO greatful that my daughter and I got to spend every day in hospital with him and also he didn't lose his sense of humour till the very end. Am especially thankful that my daughter and I got to stay with him the whole night before he passed and I know he knew we were there with him. I always thought the past two years were hard but they were nothing compared to now- I just don't know how to go on - he was my best friend and I could always talk to him about anything- am so so lost at the moment as I don't know where to go from here. Thank you all for listening and giving advice over past 12 mths. I urge anyone has cancer or those who have a loved one with cancer to contact this site as there are so many wonderful people there to listen and help