The roller coaster ride of cancer

[#1]

My wife's problems started 18 months ago with a diagnosis of diabetes and pancreatitis. Her condition never improved and a tumor was discovered virtually by accident in her bowel which was removed. Her condition declined over xmas and a temporary stent was placed in her bile duct. She continued to lose weight and was in constant pain for another ten months. High temps sent her to hospital once more and a permanent bile stent positioned. It was at this time the surgeon discovered a second primary in the pancreas that had been missed.. This meant the chemo for the bowel cancer (which knocked her around) had no effect on the pancreas so this was quietly expanding. She is now on pancreatic cancer chemo but I feel it will be too little too late but we always live in hope. In hind-site all the signs were there but overlooked. Sometimes we get quite angry but realise the complexities of the situation. As a family member it feels like being caught in a tidal rip.. just when you think you are free of the undertow, you are suddenly pulled back down again. No one will ever know the range of emotions until they walk in our shoes. Having said that our real friends have come to the fore and are real pillars of support. I have just joined this site because help is so hard to track down. What we will get out of it.. I'm not sure, but it appears there are so many others out there with similar experiences.. I guess in a way we are extended family. Take care

[samex]

Welcome Juleon. You both have had a terrible ride. One of the good things about this site is that there is always someone who lend a sympathetic ear as they have some understanding of your situation. Good luck with the next phase. Samex

[Jules2]

Hiya Juleon Yup having cancer or being a carer for someone with cancer can certainly be a roller coaster ride. I am a bit in the same boat with a kind of misdiagnosis and yet also understand how it was missed. Regardless it doesnt change "what is" for me now. :) I hope you enjoy the site and get something out of it. It has been great for me to read (ummm not meaning great that others have cancer or anything) how others go through very similar or the same emotions etc... It is a difficult thing to come to terms with when a diagnosis is missed and i have had plenty of moments of feeling angry. I sometimes wonder whether things would be very different. Difficult things to answer and i am not sure i will even bother going down that track because i need to put my energies into getting myself sorted now. I do hope that your wife is feeling a bit better. When i was undergoing my radiotherapy one of the girls that stayed at the cancer council place was undergoing treatment for pancreatic cancer. Take care Julie ps ... I forgot to mention that good friends are certainly the salt of the earth and it is an experience where you will see the good

[#4]

Thanks for your comments, I agree the energy needed to "maintain the rage" is much better spent improving Jude's quality of life.. Our medical people face multiple sufferers and their families everyday and I know they always have our interest at heart. I am amazed at how they keep going mentally. It's no wonder they become defensive when pressed for firm answers regarding the future. Its a case of being damned if you do and damned if you don't. Its nice to be able to speak from the heart to people treading the same path.. thanks for the opportunity Juleon

[Nanny]

Hello Juleon My sympathies to you as I understand some of what you are going through. My mother also has pancreatic cancer, she was diagnosed in June after suffering the pain of it since November 2009. They told us that Pancreatic cancer was hard to diagnose. I was wondering if you could have any suggestions on how you handle depression or anxiety with your wife. My mother lies awake all night thinking "I am going to die" and by the time I get up in the morning she is a shaking wreck. I tell her to focus on the positive and not to think about what we are not sure of, but this doesn't seem enough and is very easy for me to say. Yes we are all an extended family and it does give me some kind of support thinking that. Nanette