We Can Say.....

[SILLY]

Here we can say almost anything .As long as we don't hurt or offend others. It's funny that we can say things so easily here ,often when we can't say them to our nearest and dearest. It's almost like leading another life away from the real world ,yet this world is real to us too,just not to outsiders. Is that how you see this or am I the only one?

[harker]

What a nice way of putting it. I have been aware for maybe three years that I have two versions of myself. One gets to stay behind and deal with the mainstream world that doesn't understand all that much about living with cancer. The other is checking in here and blogging away, writing, reading and living a life that includes cancer. It's the way I manage the conflict within myself. I make sure the two of me get together and blend quite a bit, just so I stay sane. But they each have definite jobs to do. No doubt about that. H

[BJS]

I find talking to people can be difficult, emotions can make you break down & cry, whereas here you can say what you like & if the tears are rolling down your cheeks no one can see!

[pimbok]

Totally agree with everything said. I've found it way easier to write and post here than to talk to most people. I've also found with some people who've had cancer, they put you in their exclusive little club when you talk to them face to face whereas it doesn't feel that way here. Even though everyone's been touched by cancer on this site, it doesn't 'feel' like an exclusive club. I feel normal here, it's just that I've had cancer and people understand what it's like especially the emotional side.

[Annie333]

I'm with all three above. There are two me's the controlled me and the reading and writing which includes everything me. So yes the same as above. Wow, now I feel better :) Annie

[Stace]

i totally agree i try and hide alot of emotions from my friends and family not because i want to be the tough one or the strong and amazing one i want to protect them, i feel like i have already put these people who love and care for me so much through alot so dont want to weigh them down with anymore emotional baggage, im not sure if that is the right way to do things or i am seen as blocking people out when i am trying to do the right thing by them?

[SILLY]

I don't want them to know that the cancer is on my mind every day.Some wouldn't understand that. Also I have often hidden sickness or pain from others, not from all and not always. I don't want to appear weak ,I think. I also don't want to appear that I am not in control .I don't want to appear self- absorbed and I think some would get tired of hearing little things.We all probably know someone who can always tell you something that is wrong with them when you ask how they are .We also know that when some people ask how you are going they don't really want to know .They are only being polite-it's just a greeting. All that said ,I also don't want all to know even though there is the need ,so here is the place to talk. Our privacy is still here whilst we can be so open .

[pimbok]

Wow! I am EXACTLY the same! Thanks so much for putting all this in words.

[Loulou]

You can be so open on here, say it how it is, anytime day or night, My standard response to others is 'I'm doing well.' On here I can expand on that. Sometimes I am doing well and sometimes not. I can say that on here. We can express our innermost hopes and fears, without feeling judged. Sometimes i read others comments and really 'get it'. Its like I wrote their blog myself.

[SilentSilk]

I am new to this, not just the site but with dealing with the news. And so far i have found writing thigs down to be far more easy than saying them. I have hope that things will be ok purely through reading every ones stories here and listening to the open and honest opinions. Thank you for bringing this up and letting me see how supportive everyone is here.

[SilentSilk]

I can't imagine not being able to have a voice right now that doesn't cry. This place is amazing.

[SILLY]

I am glad you found this site too. We all come from different backgrounds yet feel a bond of sorts. It's great !

[debstar]

Hi Stace, I am so sorry that you are suffering from this disgraceful disease.. I am a carer for my beautiful fiancee, so i can tell you from that point of view only, I know that most people only ask how you are out of concern and some people are just beig polite, but with those closest to you, in my opinion, i know how i would feel if Terry wasn't honest with me about how he is feeling, although we are very close and i don't even have to ask how he is, i just get a sixth sense about it and i know even if he tries to lie to me and say "no im fine"i know that its not the whole truth, being a man he is very much the strong one and he hates that i have to look after him and he is fighting me all the way with his eating etc, but i just say to him, well you know what, tough cookies, im here to stay so you can love what i do or hate what i do and i will still do it cause i want you well and healthy.. we laugh at it most of the time, and i call him a whinger.. in a loving way of course, but i find thats the best way to deal with it.. my thought will be with you and hope that you have a good prognosis once you are through all your treatments, take care and let those who love you... love you.. they are strong enough to take it .. trust me. ❤️ love and best wishes from Debstar

[debstar]

Hi Stace, I am so sorry that you are suffering from this disgraceful disease.. I am a carer for my beautiful fiancee, so i can tell you from that point of view only, I know that most people only ask how you are out of concern and some people are just beig polite, but with those closest to you, in my opinion, i know how i would feel if Terry wasn't honest with me about how he is feeling, although we are very close and i don't even have to ask how he is, i just get a sixth sense about it and i know even if he tries to lie to me and say "no im fine"i know that its not the whole truth, being a man he is very much the strong one and he hates that i have to look after him and he is fighting me all the way with his eating etc, but i just say to him, well you know what, tough cookies, im here to stay so you can love what i do or hate what i do and i will still do it cause i want you well and healthy.. we laugh at it most of the time, and i call him a whinger.. in a loving way of course, but i find thats the best way to deal with it.. my thought will be with you and hope that you have a good prognosis once you are through all your treatments, take care and let those who love you... love you.. they are strong enough to take it .. trust me. ❤️ love and best wishes from Debstar