confused

[maddie86]

hi all my boyfriend of one year has been diagnosed with bowel cancer stage 4. Aggressive type. He has spots on his liver and lungs. The docs have told him to have chemo then radiation then surgery. I just dont know what to feel my emotions are so up and down. One day im positive and in high spirits the next day i just want to curl up in bed and cry all day... He gets grumpy when i try to talk to him about the way he's feeling or ask him questions about treatment. He's only 22 so i know he's feeling scared of his brains. I feel like our relationship has changed.. he met up with his ex gf's family to tell them and honestly i felt so hurt he did but at the same time i understand why. Im scared for my future.. i dont know what to do anymore. 😞

[Jules2]

Hey maddie Am really sorry to hear of your boyfriend's diagnosis ... gosh 22 is just way too young! I am sure it is hard for both of you at the moment. Having a cancer diagnosis to a loved one is very much an emotional roller coaster ride. I am sure your boyfriend is finding his diagnosis hard to get his head around, which is why he may not be able to share a lot with you at the moment. Have you got someone who is supporting you? Has your boyfriend been given his treatment options yet? Hang in there. Julie

[maddie86]

thanks julie.. i have many friends but i think i need to talk to someone professional as i feel depression starting.. i feel anxious all the time and can only think about it.. he has chemo then they want to try radiation then surgery. I just wish things were back to being 'normal!'

[Jules2]

Hey Maddie Good on you for recognising you need some help! It is an anxious time for you all. The cancer council has a helpline where you can talk to counsellors. You could try the hospital where your boyfriend is having his treatment ... they may have something in place or contact the social worker. Another avenue for you is your gp ... hopefully, you will be able to contact someone and get some help that you need. Once touched by cancer you will have what is commonly termed as a "new you" which therefore means you have a "new normal" too. Hang in there ... this is a great place to share and vent feelings too. Julie

[WishingStar]

Hi Maddie, I definately agree with Julie - this is massive for you and your boyfriend. Using this is site is the first step - but try the Cancer Council helpline, a councillor - anything you can - YOU and your boyfrind need to reach out and ask for emotional support as well as physical help. No one knows how to feel in this situation - and friends - especially, friends of your age, can find it difficult to relate to someone going through something so HUGE as what you and your boyfriend are facing. So arm yourself with as much help as you can to help yourself and your boyfirnd both with the physical and the emotional support you need - that includes councilling - amongst the whirl of the initial surgery and doctors appoinments etc it can be forgotten and lost (especially) for the carer and the partner - but you need to do this now so that you can make it through this journey - and learn how look after both of you the best way possible - both physically and emotionally. There is now a new normal. I hope this helps, Cyber Hugs Nicole

[maddie86]

thanks guys.. yeah it is hard for people in their early 20s to understand. I found this site very helpful.. its horrible that people are going through what i am but at the same time makes it easier knowing there are people in my situation.. i guess this is the new 'normal' for now hey!

[Jules2]

Hey maddie It is difficult for people to understand ... that's the spirit re the "new normal for now" ... won't always be this way and just weather through the best you can. You have a good attitude and know if you need some help and are willing to get it. That's often one of the biggest hurdles. take care Julie