My daughter went home interstate today. I cant believe the incredible feelings of sadness that have overwhelmed me this afternoon. I cry at the drop of a hat. I miss her already. this is not a normal reaction. Although I did feel a bit over emotional earlier in the week as well. I think I have just had enough of the chemo. fingernails are starting to look ridgey (is that a word) and red also.
You know the main thoughts that come up. Could I have done more with her, spent more time, talked to her more. She was here for 3 1/2 days and was doing alot of wedding stuff. But I did get to spend alot of time and talk to her alot. But could I have done more. Did I live for the moment as much as I could. She wont be here for Christmas. I wont get to see her again until the week before her wedding in March. I do talk to her on the phone nearly every day. The week just seemed to go so quickly.
It certainly puts it into reality that everything passes and we must take what we can from each moment that comes to us. Its remembering this while we are in the moment that is important, not afterwards.
On the positive side, she was here for a while, and my son and his wife are coming home for Christmas. This time from Cairns.
mmmmmm maybe I need more Pizza. There's leftovers :)
Thanks for listening.
Cheers Vicki
