A young family and stage 4 melanoma

[smmee]

Hi I have just found this site and i have been reading some of the posts and i think this site is amazing. My husband was diagnosed with melanoma in june last year (2009) He found a lump under his arm the day after our son was born. Since then he has had a PET scan and they found a lump in his lung. He went on a medical trial which worked really well for a while. Then he got Sick (temperature) 12 days in hospital later no reason for the temp spikes but they found 2 tumors in the brain. Before christmas. He has had a dose of radiation and the next CT scan found a 3rd brain tumor. Next week we are about to start Chemo. I am really scared. I am having enough trouble managing his cancer, our 10 month old son, the in-laws, every day tasks and working. How do people get through these types of things and where can i go for help. Nicole

[samex]

Hi Nicole, This is really frightening for you so may I suggest (as others may) the Cancer Council Helpline and also perhaps you might like to contact a social worker at the hospital where your husband is being treated. Depending on how your husband feels about letting friends etc know about his condition, ask for help from friends, especially with your little boy. I found when I was on treatment even though my kids were teenagers, that real friends came out of the woodwork. Once they knew about my circumstances, I had people turn up with meals, do my housework and offer to drive me anywhere I needed a lift. There is no easy way to deal with this but there are people who may be able to assist. This site is also great if you just need to offload yourself. No-one's emotions or experiences are more or less important than anyone else's. Take care, Samex

[Jules2]

Hiya smmee I am sorry to hear what your husband is going through and then in turn what you are going through also. It is a tough gig and i would arm yourself with friends/family/social worker or the cancer council - all of these people can help you. The cancer council can help you in very practical ways aswell as offering counselling. IT is very overwhelming and confusing to find your way through the miriad of people who deal with this that and the other. One person that i have found a complete gem has been my cancer nurse coordinator and i still contact her if i want to find out something or i have a worry about anything. It really does help if you have someone that can advocate for you. Julie

[WishingStar]

Hi Nicole, It seems you have already had some awesome advice from samex and Jules. Definately ask for help. Vent your emotions (this site is great for that). And take one day at a time. Sending you cyber hugs, Nicole xoxoxo