How do you deal with their constant pain?

[carolkp]

My mother is 63 and is in the terminal stages of colon cancer. The cancer has spread to her other organs and she is on 500ml of Fentanyl pain reliever. I can't stand to see her in so much pain. She groans in pain every 5 minutes or so and she's telling me she's so tired. How do you deal with your loved ones being in so much constant pain? I show her old photos so she can avert her focus but I don't know what else I can do. I feel so helpless.

[Budgie]

Hi carolkp,
Is your mum under palliative care, as the nurses would be/should be able to manage her pain better? If she's not, it's very easy to get a referral from either her onc or GP.
I hope she finds some comfort soon.

Budgie

[carolkp]

Hi Budgie, she's on round the clock care with private nurses and is able to have an extra dose of fentanyl by pushing a button if she needs it. The doctors now have her on a light sedative so she's able to sleep more which I feel is better so that her body has time to heal without her focusing so much on the pain. She has also been more coherent since the new sedative. Thank you for your kind words Budgie.

[Katekat]

Sending hugs to you @carolkp 💛

And welcome to our little community!

You may be interested in listening to some podcasts we have about advanced cancer, in particular the one on managing pain.

This is a great place to let it all out with others who are where you are or have been, so don't be a stranger 😘

-Kate

Online Community Manager

[Budgie]

I'm glad they're doing something for her.

[mel741]

Hi Carol

I only just saw your post but I could have written the exact same thing a week ago. I felt so helpless. My Mum is 67 and has a terminal diagnosis for bowel cancer. She was in agonizing pain (could hardly focus on a conversation because the pain was too intense) until we contacted the palliative care team. They arranged for MUCH stronger pain relief, which has made an immense difference.

From your latest post it sounds like the sedative has helped things, but if things change then I recommend you keep asking her medical team what else can be done. I wish we'd pushed harder to get her better pain medication earlier. I really hope her doctors can get her pain under control so she's more comfortable.

Sending love your way