I'm going to keep this as to the point as possible.
How do you support someone (your good friend) who's 33 and is terminal with leukaemia?
I'm obviously devastated beyond comprehension, but it isn't about me.
I'm struggling to find the positives, because he's so young and he hasn't gotten to live life fully.
I don't know what to say to him...
I want him to know I care, but without bringing him down even more.
Thanks in advance.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. It's great that he has a caring friend who wants to be there for him.
Reading through these forums you'll quickly learn that often during a cancer diagnosis/treatment, friends can disappear quickly.
I'm sure that already the fact that you are there offering support makes a difference already.
Here is the hard part. Everybody's needs are different, just as everybody is a different person.
It will varying upon the person and their needs. How much other support do they have already?
Do they need someone to go with them them to treatment?
Maybe someone to chat with or even just sit with them?
Maybe trying asking if there is anything you can do for him?
I hope something in here helps. Let me know if you have any more questions.
Thanks so much for your reply, SCH.
He's very lucky to have an amazingly supportive family, so he isn't alone at all!
He hasn't really been up to seeing us many times since his diagnosis, which was 4 years ago.
I always message him and I hope that he does really know how much we love him (I tell him all the time).
The hard thing about this is his sister actually told me about the palliative care, so he doesn't know that I know. And I know he will say something when he's ready to have that conversation, but makes it a little more difficult to communicate.
Thanks again for replying to me
Thanks so much for your reply.
I hope you're doing okay. ❣️
Our friend is very lucky that he has an incredible family and they are a great support network for him for sure.
He's been quite reclusive with us (his friendship group) since his diagnosis 4 years ago.
He doesn't know that I know about the palliative care yet, as it was his sister who told me but told me not to say anything. I know he will say when he's ready.
Just makes it that little more difficult to communicate openly (I'm a pretty open person with him), I've asked about his treatments many times and he definitely feels comfortable to talk about it with me, but always said it was difficult because he'd get great news followed by crap news and vice versa.
I'll definitely enjoy the time we do have left together.
Thanks again for replying.
Hi, I just want to say what a wonderful friend you are already for reaching out and getting support with wanting to support your friend. Yes it is so true i believe everybody is different and only you yourself and others who are suppoting your friend really know what he likes and dislikes. Things change so much in the eyes of the person who is suffering. Maybe talking to them about their favourite football team or sports they like or books they like or liked to read, my partners son used to take my partner out for drives to see his favourite places as he knew he couldn't drive. Best of luck on your journey of support of your friend. Remember yourself not to take to much to heart if they don't want to talk or do things, they are suffering. Just be empethetic and listen or just be present if you can.
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