My daughter

Dragonmaid2264
New Contributor

My daughter

Hi my husband has been diagnosed with pancratic cancer and given 3 months. My daughter has few friends and nerds an online community to talk to any suggestions - bless you all 

Annie 

6 REPLIES 6
Wegotthis
Frequent Contributor

Re: My daughter

Sorry to hear about your husband. I hope he proves the doctors wrong. 

During researching I found tons of people who was given months to live and have gone years and many that are way over 10 plus years .

I think that your daughter having friends online is great. I meet my wife and many great friends in a chat room over 20 years ago. 

I personally prefer to talk about my cancer with people online. When I'm with family and friends I try to avoid talking about it. If it does come up I tell everyone I'm doing great even I'm not really feeling well. My wife and I try our best to enjoy the time we have the people around us. Talking about cancer takes away the joy of the moment. 

My wife and I really don't talk about it much. 

I think its because so far I haven't had any problems with treatment so far. 

I hope you have or find afew people that you can talk to openly about what you are feeling. 

How is your husband treating you. I understand some husband's react in a mean way. I  really hope this isn't happening to you 

Stay strong 

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Dragonmaid2264
New Contributor

Re: My daughter

Thank you for your kind words. Husband has been so weak after first round of chemo. He has been appologising to me, not angry, but frustrated and sad for sure.

Ill try to find an online young people community, she is 27 so it would be great to be with her peers.

I hope the best for you both. 

 

Kindest regards,

Annie

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Budgie
Super Contributor

Re: My daughter

Hi @Dragonmaid2264 ,

 

I'm sorry about your husbands diagnosis.   Pancreatic cancer can be very fast moving, & it doesn't leave much time to comprehend everything let alone come to terms with it all.  Your daughter would also be able to use this site as it is for everyone affected by cancer, & I'm pretty sure there is a group for young people here also.  

My advice to you is to talk about everything with your husband & daughter (if they want to) as it helps tremendously.   If they don't want to discuss things with each other, a social worker or counsellor would be a great idea.  You can also call the Cancer Council on 131120 & speak to someone.   Your husband should be able to access a social worker thru his palliative care team, or thru a referral from his oncologist/GP. 

As @Wegotthis said, doctors are very often proven wrong with times given on how long a person is going to survive  - it depends on SO much.  Attitude plays a very big part, so I hope your husband keeps a positive one. 

I wish you & your family all the very best for Christmas & the coming year.  You never know what the future holds.  🙂

Take good care

 

All the best

Budgie

Dragonmaid2264
New Contributor

Re: My daughter

Thank you so much. The chemo he tried was terrible so he has decided not to go ahead with it. I have no idea what that means now but we will confer with our GP and try to make a plan.

The worst thing is all the paper work. 

We havent even talked about funeral arrangements yet.

I might try to access my works counselling service. 

I will get elle (daughter) to hop on here she might find a friend through the groups

Thank you for your reply. I hope things are going okay for you. Todays was a good day for us. 

 

Wegotthis
Frequent Contributor

Re: My daughter

Really glad to hear that you had a good day. 

Some days are definitely better than others i get my chemo every 3 weeks on a Wednesday. Thursday I can work all day but Friday I'm useless and in bed all day. 

4 more treatments to go!!

Cancer definitely has its up and downs. 

I have always planned on donating my organs but because of having cancer and getting treatment they are pretty much useless. So I have decided to donation my body to science. After they are done they will cremated me and give my ashes to my family. And its for free 😁

My family can do whatever they want with my ashes. I don't care if they flush them down the drain. 

I have told everyone about it so no one has to make a decision about what to do. 

If I die from cancer or a car accident tomorrow I'm ready. 

You want to hear something funny. 

I have my mom,dad and father Inlaw ashes at my house. I don't know what to do with my parents. My mother Inlaw wants us to wait until she passes before we do anything with my father Inlaw...

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Budgie
Super Contributor

Re: My daughter

@Dragonmaid2264 , I'm so sorry the chemo was too much.  Was he offered an alternative or reduced dose?  I'm not sure if that's even possible with his type of cancer, but it can make a huge difference in the side effects.   I have terminal kidney cancer, so I don't know of the treatment for pancreatic cancer.  

 

I know it's hard to talk about, but sorting out the funeral will be a good thing done.   Mine is all ready to go for whenever needed, & it just takes the burden & stress off my hubby when the time actually comes.   

 

It's a very good idea to access whatever help you can.  There is also an expressive writing segment on this site where you can write all your feelings down.   Another great outlet.  

I hope your daughter can fined what she needs here.  

 

Things are plodding along for me, thank you for asking.   I am lucky enough to be in my  9th year of treatment.   I take an oral chemo tablet every day, until it stops working.  Unfortunately for me, this will probably be my last type of chemo, as I've been on most of the others available to me.  They've either become too toxic for me or my body has become immune to them.  So unless something new comes up on my horizon,  this is my last.  Having said that, I've been on this treatment since the beginning of March 2018 & still going strong.   Not bad for something that was supposed to give me 10 - 12 months!  So I'm not complaining at all.

 

I hope you have more good days! ❤

 

Budgie

 

 

 

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