Working whilst my husband is having high dose chemo 3.5hours away

[Bucknchooky]

I have two teenage boys (17 & 15), and my husband was diagnosed with stage 3 germ cell testicular cancer at Easter 2016. He had BEP chemo at our local hospital and then TIP chemo with stem cell harvesting in Sydney. Now he is in hospital in Sydney having high dose chemo and stem cell transplants. 

I have continued to work throughout his chemo, for sanity and financial reasons, although he is still on sick leave and collecting a wage, the cost of drugs and the accomodation in Sydney is chewing up our money and we are going backwards.

i would really like to be with him, but I need to work and look after the kids.

is anyone else out there juggling it all? I feel like I am not doing any of my roles, mother, wife, carer and employee very well but don't really have much else I can do.

[little_stitcher]

My husband was well enough to work full time during his chemo, and we don't have kids, and I found that really tough- I can't even imagine what you're going through!   Your GP or the Cancer Council may have some suggestions of resources available to you, or government help you would be eligible for (transport help, help around the house, stuff like that).  In the meantime I'm sending big hugs of encouragement.  love Emily

[mark]

certainly juggling it all.  we are empty nesters but its still all a crazy wild juggle.

one thing at a time, not everything will get done, but take heart, the sun will rise tomorrow.

You're not alone.

[RachelP]

I have recently hit the wall.  My husband has a rare cancer and we have just had our 11th trip to Sydney to RNSH (4 hour drive) for care in just over a year.  I also work full-time and, like you, chew through the money on additional medications, doctors, pathology not covered by Medicare, accommodation, fuel etc...  We have gone so far backwards in the past 18 months it is shocking, not to mention very stressful!!  He has had 4 surgeries for this cancer (x4 brain, x1 throat) and it's now in his pancreas.  He lost his pituitary gland in one of the brain surgeries, which has left him on a myriad of medication. 

Thankfully I have some flexibility at work so take my sick leave as carers leave for the majority of it.  My husband is so sick he cannot do much without a Carer and his family do not seem to care one bit.  I am solo carer and solo income earner.  He is at home alone, very sick every day whilst I go to work so we can survive.  It breaks my heart!  We only have furry kids at home now but trying to juggle doctors appts, scans, bill payments, call backs, follow-ups, scripts, etc.... care for him and work full-time has just about "killed" me, or so it feels.  I feel numb - drained totally of anything me.

I really do not know what to do anymore.  There is no light at the end of the tunnel and certainly no-one to support us (apart from my mum).

Our situations sound very similar and I empathise with anyone living like this.

[JennyWren]

We are just beginning this journey. My husband had surgery to remove a high grade glioblastoma a month ago and begins 6 weeks of chemo and radiation this coming week.(Followed by six months of chemo after a month break.)

We have three school aged children at home and live about an hour and a half away from the treatment hospital and I honestly don't know how we will cope in the coming weeks.

Your post really struck a chord with me as it articulates exactly how I have been thinking. The need to keep everything running at home, keep working and keep the kids in school at the cost of being with my husband when he needs me the most. I guess we do the best we can....one day at a time. It's pretty gut wrenching though.

[little_stitcher]

Hi JennyWren and RachelP, the Cancer Council or a hosptial social worker may know of some services you could link into (help around the house or getting groceries, taxi vouchers etc.)  I'm not 100% sure if these services would be available, but if they were, that would be the place to start.  I hope you both get some practical help soon.  Sending big hugs, Emily

[RachelP]

Thank you for your kind thoughts! I'm going to meet a hospital social worker in the coming days. I'm also taking 3 nights away while my husbands mother visits. It will be great to get some sleep and do some things for myself ie., read a book. I'm exhausted and fear my health is failing as the stress has been difficult to bear. It's people like you who make a real difference.  Thank you! 🙏🏻😘

[little_stitcher]

That's fantastic!  Taking time to recharge your own batteries is so important for you at the moment.  I started having a bath on a Saturday  morning (something I still continue now), and it was such a sanity saver.  xx

[PUnderwood]

Glad to hear that you will be able to take some time away! No matter how minimal it may be it all counts in the end. I hope anyone in a similar predicament will be able to do the same. I also hope that the social worker is able to help you with resources that will be beneficial in your situation. I have not been through the same predicament, but I know a few people that have, and its important to always stay tough and strong, no matter how bleak things may be. Keep in mind that we're all here for you in some way or form, chin up