Hi...from another newbie

[smartyaligatorp]

two weeks at forster where we had the holiday apartment craig was so excited and so looking forward to. it was all just so difficult to be there, trying to capture more memories that we had shared over the many years of forster holidays, then on our final day we remembered and honoured craig at one of his favourite forster fishing spots....does this pain ever stop?

[#2]

Hi I am just wondering if anyone still reads these posts. I need some .... I don't know what I. I think I need to just not feel so alone in all this. 😞

[little_stitcher]

Hi Julie, I still regularly frequent this website, although my husband finished his chemo 2 years ago. I just thought I'd send you a note to say 'Hi!'. It can be so hard dealing with some of this stuff, especially if none of the people close to you have experienced it firsthand, and therefore don't really understand (much as they'd like to.) Feel free to message me if you want to chat. Hugs of friendship, Emily

[Jules2]

Hi Juliev I still pop in every now and again. Hope you are feeling a little less alone. I do love your picture of the puppy. Is he your dog? Julie

[smartyaligatorp]

i can't think straight health deteriorating not coping noone to talk to noone to listen so very alone so angry

[Roni]

feeling pain too, don't know if I ever put an update, but my darling dad who was suffering so much, but was fighting so hard to make Christmas... was killed in a car collision 2 weeks before Christmas... I am so lost without him, everyone seems to think I should be over it, I'm not, I get angry, sad, hysterical, just empty then the pain of it all, the panic attacks... Even though our situations are different they are the same I guess, grief... why why why????

[smartyaligatorp]

9 months of widowhood - what a horrible title - one I so wish just wasn't even invented, let alone assigned to me or anyone else. there are moments when I feel 'normal' (what ever that is now) and then wham - totally back to the pain and tears.

[purpleangels]

Hi smartyalligator! I hear you.....a new normal can be okay for a while and then something will take you back to the pain and loss...... I don't really think of myself as a widow...I can't define myself in such a sad way. I am still a mum, a daughter, a friend, a teacher.....I was once a wife, but for now am not. I took a radical step a year after my husband died, I moved myself and my two kids to the Northern Territory from Northern NSW. It has been a real eye opener and an experience that has made me realise how lucky I truly am, loss or no loss. It is a 'pattern interrupted' experience. My kids have enjoyed the opportunities that living here have given us, weekends in Kakadu, seeing some of this great country, sunsets that go for miles, crocs everywhere. It has been tough, I am teaching in a remote school and the kids have been challenging at best. We are here for a year long stint and it has gone a long way to helping me heal...and hopefully my kids too. We will never forget their dad, he was an awesome person and my very best friend. But we have made new memories and have looked for him in the majestic night sky with millions of stars that we just don't see in the city. Some days I am still on auto pilot, and some days I let myself go and let my mind wander.....even do the 'what if' , what if cancer had never touched my family? Where would we be now? Would we be having such amazing experiences? It's made me realise that I need to accept what I can not change and have the courage to continue on this journey called life! Hope you are okay! Sending positivity your way!! PA