I lost my mum

Tor33
New Contributor

I lost my mum

I lost my mum to cancer on 31st January 2021. My mum was given 6-12 months and passed just after 11 months. It was the saddest journey I have experience with my family. 

My mum was my best friend and most beautiful person I have had the honour of having in my life.

Knowing every time I hugged my mum in those 11 months I would never know if it would be the last. It was a hard and painful time. Even though we knew what the outcome was going to be it was still shocking to hear my dad say "I'm sorry, we lost her." I will never forget this phone call. 

I was out into hospital one week to the day of mums funeral due to a colitis flare. Within 2 weeks after i was having surgery and dealing with the outcomes of that. 

I am finding now almost 3 months later since we lost mum, i am only starting to grieve. I am struggling and not sure how to cope. I am working fulltime and have an amazing husband and supportive family but I try to hide some of the grief especially in front of dad who isn't coping at all. I feel sometimes if i cry i will never stop. Today is one of the days i can't stop. Please someone tell me this normal xx

3 REPLIES 3
Budgie
Super Contributor

Re: I lost my mum

Hi @Tor33,

 

I'm very sorry for your loss.  It's never easy to lose a loved one.  Please know that everyone grieves in their own way - there's no right or wrong way.  Perhaps if you don't hide your grief from your father, you will be able to cry together.   You can support each other. 

Talk to him, & your husband, & if that's not enough, get some counselling.   Don't  try to hold back the tears, let them come.  One day they will stop, or come only occasionally.   I lost my eldest sister in 2004, my Mum in 2009 & I still, sometimes shed tears for them both.  I miss them.  But life goes on & it does get easier. 

 

Take care 

Budgie 

 

Tor33
New Contributor

Re: I lost my mum

Thank you for reaching out, and I am sorry you have been through it yourself, twice! 

Thank you again and lets hope time will heal. Never forgotten but hopefully it does get easier. 🙂

KaceJax
Contributor

Re: I lost my mum

Learn to accept that your mom is no longer here physically for you to really move on. I  know it's hard as our mom is our everything. However, look on the positive side. No more pains and no more sufferings. Besides, I know she died happily because you are with her all throughout. For now, focus on your dad...

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