My dad passed away on the 26 May 2018. He had brain tumours. He battled this for over two years, he was in so much pain. I am 42 years old. I miss him terribly. I have lost faith in everything. When he was dying I thought that there would be signs he was around when he passed. I thought I would feel he was around. I don’t. I feel annoyed at pretty much everything. I don’t like the person I am now.
Hi Tam, I hear you. I lost my partner on the 16th May 2018 after a 2 year battle with Colorectal Cancer. I too am 42 years old and feel like my world has come to an end. I have no family support and live very remote. Every day is a struggle an on going battle. I am angry, resentful, sad and full of rage all the time and hate the person I've become. I wish I had answers for us both, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, I promise to keep slogging through every day if you can too. Much love and warm thoughts to you xxx
Hi Tam I'm truly sorry for the loss of your father. I lost my father 2 months ago today and he was my best mate we were very close I looked after him 24/7 for the last 4 months of his life and like you I'm struggling to cope and manage with him not being here anymore. His pain was terrible.. I too thought cause we were so close I would feel him around or close when he passed but nothing at all which makes it all so much harder. I struggle to get out of bed and barely leave the house and really don't like who I am as I know my father would be upset to see me hurting so much. Just wanted to reach out as I understand the hurt and pain you are going through. Ben
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Losing my father is the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life and I truly feel your pain. I would like to say that it gets better but I feel the same as what I did when it happened. My dad passed away 26th May last year and it feels like it was yesterday. I have been to a therapist which has helped a little but I miss him everyday. Some days I forget - my son started his apprenticeship this year and when I dropped him off at TAFE I was driving home and thought 'I will give dad a ring and let him know how he went', then it hits you like a tonne of bricks.
My therapist is quite spiritual so I mentioned to her about not seeing any signs and she said that it is possibly because my head is not clear, there could be signs all the time but I am not seeing them because so much is going on in my head. I hope this is true. She did tell me to keep a journal, not to write anything in particular - but just to write, she suggested that I write everyday - I have been a bit slack with this but really need to do it.
All I can say is be kind to yourself. Its ok to be mad, sad, devasted. I don't feel like I will ever be the same person I was before dad got sick. I think we have seen to much pain for it to not change us as people.
All you have to do is get through today, worry about tomorrow - tomorrow. Below is a quote that we put on the memorial booklet at dads funeral, thought I would share it with you. Please feel free to message me whenever you need a chat or to vent.
Thanks Tam what a beautiful phrase has brought me to tears again. Dads birthday today so I suppose I got through the day yes the gut wrenching pain is relentless... thanks for taking the time to msg me. Cheers Ben
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