Losing my dad

[Tam08]

My dad passed away on the 26 May 2018. He had brain tumours. He battled this for over two years, he was in so much pain. I am 42 years old. I miss him terribly. I have lost faith in everything. When he was dying I thought that there would be signs he was around when he passed. I thought I would feel he was around. I don’t. I feel annoyed at pretty much everything. I don’t like the person I am now. 

[Marcus]

Hi
So sorry for your loss. It is just so hard to see someone you love sooo much like your Dad, suffer and be in the pain he was in and all you wanted to do was take his pain away but you couldn’t
May 2018 feels like yesterday with the pain in your heart still fresh and raw.
Your love did not die
What to say the pain of the loss never goes away you just seem to learn to leave with it.
Be kind to yourself. Your Dad will always be in your heart.

[AshleyMaree]

Hi Tam, I hear you. I lost my partner on the 16th May 2018 after a 2 year battle with Colorectal Cancer. I too am 42 years old and feel like my world has come to an end. I have no family support and live very remote. Every day is a struggle an on going battle. I am angry, resentful, sad and full of rage all the time and hate the person I've become. I wish I had answers for us both, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, I promise to keep slogging through every day if you can too. Much love and warm thoughts to you xxx

[Ben42]

Hi Tam I'm truly sorry for the loss of your father. I lost my father 2 months ago today and he was my best mate we were very close I looked after him 24/7 for the last 4 months of his life and like you I'm struggling to cope and manage with him not being here anymore. His pain was terrible.. I too thought cause we were so close I would feel him around or close when he passed but nothing at all which makes it all so much harder. I struggle to get out of bed and barely leave the house and really don't like who I am as I know my father would be upset to see me hurting so much. Just wanted to reach out as I understand the hurt and pain you are going through. Ben 

[Tam08]

Hi Ben

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Losing my father is the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life and I truly feel your pain. I would like to say that it gets better but I feel the same as what I did when it happened. My dad passed away 26th May last year and it feels like it was yesterday. I have been to a therapist which has helped a little but I miss him everyday. Some days I forget - my son started his apprenticeship this year and when I dropped him off at TAFE I was driving home and thought 'I will give dad a ring and let him know how he went', then it hits you like a tonne of bricks.

My therapist is quite spiritual so I mentioned to her about not seeing any signs and she said that it is possibly because my head is not clear, there could be signs all the time but I am not seeing them because so much is going on in my head. I hope this is true. She did tell me to keep a journal, not to write anything in particular - but just to write, she suggested that I write everyday - I have been a bit slack with this but really need to do it.

All I can say is be kind to yourself. Its ok to be mad, sad, devasted. I don't feel like I will ever be the same person I was before dad got sick. I think we have seen to much pain for it to not change us as people.

All you have to do is get through today, worry about tomorrow - tomorrow. Below is a quote that we put on the memorial booklet at dads funeral, thought I would share it with you. Please feel free to message me whenever you need a chat or to vent.

[Ben42]

Thanks Tam what a beautiful phrase has brought me to tears again. Dads birthday today so I suppose I got through the day yes the gut wrenching pain is relentless... thanks for taking the time to msg me. Cheers Ben