i have just been diagnosed

[lornamacintyre]

New to this forum 

New to 'cancer' as a 'cancer patient' 

New to this fear , anxiety and feeling of detachment. 

I have removed myelf from FB and all social activities - I said i never wanted to join the 'cancer club' no disrespect to anyone but here i am . 

I live iwth my mother after just losing my aunt, my beautiful father suddenly of a brain tumour  my 2 girlfriends and now its my turn . 

This just feels surreal. 

I feel alone 

I feel targeted by some  twisted  and cruel God 

Even my mother dosent get it .. i have bad days .. today was one so i joined this forum and read a few posts as it seems we do get it. 

until you are here  .. and i was the supprortive one but until you are 'here' its a totally different world and its alone , scarey , and i just wanted to say i dont want to die but i dont want to live waiting to die either. 

my cancer is incurable i have been given 10 yeasr  NHL i just finished chemo and reponded to treatment .. but i cant help but think until when ???

im in a bad place and now considering the anti depressants 

i have been in my pjs since diagnosis last sept. 

[Katekat]

Morning @lornamacintyre and welcome to our forums!

Sorry to hear of your diagnosis, I am glad you found us though, you are most certainly not alone 

I've just sent you a welcome email, I mentioned our Telephone Support Groups in that but I am also going to suggest you give 13 11 20 a call and just have a chat with one of the cancer nurses. There may be things such as counselling programs available to you in your area that I believe would be worth investigating.

There are most definitely others here living with Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma in this community.

In the meantime, I am going to post some links below to some resources that may interest you to read or listen to:

• Understanding Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma (pdf book)
• Coping with a cancer diagnosis (podcast)
• Managing cancer fatigue (podcast)
• Managing fear (podcast)

There's 2 seasons of the podcasts available if you're interested, you can find all of them here. They are hosted by the amazing Julie McCrossin, who went through her own cancer experience. They are actually recording the new season right now here in the office so that should be available in the coming months 

Sending hugs! 

-Kate

Online Community Manager

[Budgie]

Hello lornamacintyre,

Please don't feel so bad.  I too am terminal & it is very hard knowing you are dying, but not knowing exactly how much time you have.  I don't dwell on it though.  While I have life left in my body I will enjoy each day as it comes, to the best of my ability.   I have too many things I want to do before I die;  I have lots of craft projects that I need to finish, but each day/week just flies by.  Life is too short at the best of times to let it go by without enjoying as much of it as you can.   Everyone is dying, it's just a matter of when & how that differs.

You said you don't want to live waiting to die......First thing to do is get out of those PJs.  If it's a sunny day, have breakfast outside in the sunshine 🌞 - I find that always cheers me up.  Go for a walk through a park or somewhere, just to get out of the house.   Talk to someone about how you are feeling.   There are plenty of people who will listen. 

Remember - you are not alone.  😊

Budgie

[Frankie]

Hello

I am new to this forum also. I can relate to you staying in your pj's, I am guilty of that to.  Cancer tends to rock our world until we do not know which way is up.

I to have bad days and the good.  Somedays I spend crying, not so much feeling sorry for myself, but becasue I am scared.  I dont know what will happen to me.  

While we have supportive friends and family, they really do not know what we are experiencing, and I hope they never will get to experience it.

Put yourself back on FB, let your FB pals know what you are going through, I am sure they will support you in any way they can.

Ten years is a long time away, and you can enjoy life to the fullest in this time period.  I know its easier said than done, but do give it a try.

It is hard to get our head around the fact that we have Cancer.  Usually Cancer is what other people get, so when we become 'the other people'  it becomes scarey.

Share your journey with us on here, even if it is just a daily update to say you feel rock bottom, or maybe on top of the world.

Look forward to reading your posts, and all the Best.

Frankie

[LG]

Hi Lorna,

i share your thoughths about not joining a cancer group and here I am joining just to answer you. You have inspired me to join and I hope this shows how you can continue to inspire people today and everyday regardless of your medical diagnosis. 

My mother passed from Breast cancer just 3 years ago and I was diagnosed earlier this year. It broke my heart mainly because I finally see this journey with my own eyes and I don’t have her around to help me through it. I wish I could tell my mom that I never understood her pain and fear but now I do.

I have a young daughter, my family and friends are overseas and I too feel very alone.  Keeping myself busy has been helpful I’ve been writing, painting, and finding creative ways to stay hopeful. 

I kept my diagnosis a secret from social media but told my closest friends and relatives. They understand how difficult the diagnosis was for me but they cheer me up and check up on me all the time and it feels good to feel love and compassion from others in a private way.

I feel for you. Enjoy every day even if it means staying in your pjs. That’s what I’m planning on doing all day today. 

Big hug xo