Surviving the waiting game

[Narelle]

Hi all I'm new here, beware my verbal diarrhoea is about to begin. In March this year my cancer was removed from my bladder in what I can only describe as the most traumatic experience of my life. I was 20 weeks pregnant at the time and fortunately they got it all out and bubs is fine. At the time, I treated the whole experience as 'It's just a word' but as time goes on and my next check up is approaching I've realised it's hard not to let it take over my life. Yes I am cancer free and I am so grateful. Yes my baby inside me has saved my life. I had no symptoms and it was only detected at my 8 week scan. What I struggle with now is the constant reminders that this cancer will probably come back, people wanting to know everything about my appointments and when and it's driving me nuts. I would have preferred this journey to be taken alone as although my family cares, I struggle with all the questions. It's like yet another reminder of the past. 2 months post surgery I feel like it's back already, I can't explain how but it's just a feeling. I really hope I'm wrong. My next check is July following the birth of my baby. How does everyone cope post cancer???

[Rubes1984]

Hi Narelle Its def a hard time for sure and I think it does get a little easier. I have stage 4 lung cancer and last wk was told im still all clear.... ive had 18mths of clear scans, after a 12mth very scary treatment ride. Every scan appt and oncology appt makes me so nervous and all the questions asked flood back memories we wish we could forget. Have u tried to explain this to your loved ones and friends? Ive now told them im ok and if im not I will let them know. Cancer affects everyone differently. I feel those who have cancer have no choice but to be brave and cope. Maybe these qs r coz of their own anxieties which some counseling for them could help. Congrats on kicking cancers butt. May u have many happy cancer free yrs ahead :) Rubes

[susieq1962]

I find the waiting is sometimes the hardest part, but I have learnt to relax between appointments we have had a wait of 2 months between being told transplant isn't an option because his tumour is sticking into his portal vein and the next step of Sirt treatment which took place last Tuesday I have learnt to adopt the mantra that worrying wont change things it will just zap my health and then I wont be any good to my husband. At the moment because he has had the radioactive spheres inserted into his liver because his tumour was not operable and tace didn't do much for it, we are aunable to sleep together and have contact physically it is hard even the poor dog isn't allowed to cuddle him and she is a bit sad too.

[susieq1962]

I find the waiting is sometimes the hardest part, but I have learnt to relax between appointments we have had a wait of 2 months between being told transplant isn't an option because his tumour is sticking into his portal vein and the next step of Sirt treatment which took place last Tuesday I have learnt to adopt the mantra that worrying wont change things it will just zap my health and then I wont be any good to my husband. At the moment because he has had the radioactive spheres inserted into his liver because his tumour was not operable and tace didn't do much for it, we are aunable to sleep together and have contact physically it is hard even the poor dog isn't allowed to cuddle him and she is a bit sad too.

[little_stitcher]

Hi Narelle, I'll keep it brief: waiting definitely sucks. We're all cheering for you.

[DG]

yes you all have my support too, Waiting is awful and just adds to the stress of the whole situation making it so much worse, keep us updated if u feel up to it, try and take comfort that they ask because they care, but yes i do understand what u mean xx

[susieq1962]

So now we play the waiting game again, we now wait 6-7 weeks to find out if the treatment has shrunk the tumour am trying to just put it out of my mind but he is still feeling the effects of the Sirt treatment getting very tired but to his credit he is stuggling off to work, if only we didnt have to worry about money he could just rest as much as he needed but we still have to pay the bills and the mortgage they dont stop because you have cancer.