Hi teacher/mum,
The fear is always going to be with you it's just all depends on how you cope with it and not letting it take control of your life ( which it does sometimes). I was diagnosed with B.C at the age of 31 in 2006 so it will be 3 years for me this month - what a hard journey it is and still going. As time passes by it does get a bit easier but it is always going to be with you. A lot of people i know like my friends and family presume that once i finished all of my treatments and got my hair back from chemo i should of moved on by now," far out" give me a break!!! i am only human to be feeling fear, worry, anger, sadness,loss and etc.. wouldn't they be feeling the same way if they went through it??? its something you can't explain to people who have never experienced this awful deadly disease but only you and I and other cancer patients would know this feeling. At times i must admit, i would feel a pain in my body thinking OMG is it my cancer, did it spread elsewhere in my body and so on.... cancer has changed my life dramatically in a negative way and positive ways too. Its also taken the opportunity that i might not be able to have another child too which i am blessed i have one already but trying to explain this to others is like hitting into a brick wall ( even though they have more than one child themselves) telling me i should be happy and blessed - OMG as if i am not grateful for my little girl but i am only being a mother wanting another child - isn't that normal... wouldn't they feel the same way if that was taken away from them ?? ofcourse they would but they have no idea so i really can't be bothered sharing my grief and sadness with anyone but myself and with my husband...
Try to live your life the best way you can, don't listen to anyone, if you feel fear, worried, anger, sadness its all very normal its just trying to control our emotions thats all, remember you are allowed to feel these feelings - you are only a human being and not a robot.....
Take care
Missy Moo