Hi Everyone - My Introduction

[bleh]

Hello Everyone, My name is Joanna, I'm 28 and was diagnosed with Uterine cancer late last year. It was discovered after a pap test I had came back with precancerous cells, some of which were removed, but then they decided to do a whole bunch of scans as I was getting intense pain after sex (sorry if TMI!) - well, not just after sex, but any time I climaxed I would feel like I was having labor contractions (again, sorry if TMI!). I had an external and internal ultrasound which showed the cancer was in my uterus and one of my ovaries....and had spread to my cervix. I told my partner about the news straight away, but waited a few weeks to tell my family, as they had already watched my mother die of breast cancer, and I really didn't want to put them through it all again. So...moving on! I've started aggressive Chemo in the hope to shrink the cancer before my surgery on the 5th of February 2010. I go in once a week, and yesterday had my second treatment. The drugs they are giving me are Paclitaxel, Herceptin and Cisplatin. I'm a little confused as from some of what I've read seems to indicate that those drugs, or at least one of them, are used for Breast cancer. But I'm just going along with what the doctors suggest. My bad ovary gets removed on the 5th of feb, and if the cancer hasn't shrunk enough they will remove all my girly bits apart from the good ovary. So now I'm laying in bed, throwing up, feel like i've been hit by a freight train, and I'm not well enough to look after my very special daughter who is almost 14 months, and is on oxygen as she was 13 weeks early (born at 27 weeks). Suki has had to start daycare, for two days a week because of all of this and I just feel so guilty. I feel like I have failed her. I feel angry that my family has to watch yet another loved one go through cancer treatments (we have a long family history of various cancers), and to top it all off - my hair started falling out this morning. So there is my vent for today! I hate having these 'why me' days, but always remind myself that there is always someone out there worse off than you, and at least I have the option of treatment, even though it's absolute hell. Best Wishes to all of you, Nice to meet you! Joanna xo

[Jules2]

Hiya Joanna Firstly i dont subscribe to the "i have a problem worse than yours" a problem to someone is a problem, simple!! So, dont feel guilty because it is what you are feeling in the hear and now and that does not mean that is the person that you are and it does not mean you will stay feeling and thinking that way. I can relate to feeling guilty re your child. When I was diagnosed with my first cancer my son was only 11 weeks old and due to operations and scans etc... i was unable to continue breast feeding and day to day caring of him. It did pass and as tmie went on I was able to do more and more. Give your baby a kiss and a cuddle. 🙂 I think the thing here for me was that "i would if i could, but i cant" so i had to get my head around that. I had cisplatin and i think that drug is used for a lot of cancers and its not much fun. The being sick isnt much fun either and i ended up in hospital for 4 days after one chemo, so that meant a whole week of hospital just for one chemo which was pretty ugh at the time! I did offer a fellow cancer patient my spare spew bags, which he declined. lol Hope you start to feel better soon and talk to the onco's cos they are marvellous at changing drugs that help lots. Suki is prolly having a ball at day care, kids get so much interaction there and there are benefits. Try not to worry too much, which as a mum is difficult i know. I still worry about my son with all of this and he is 21 now. Julie xo

[samex]

Joanna you seem to have an enormaous amount to deal with at the moment. As cliched as it sounds, you must look after yourself so that on your good days you can really enjoy your baby.If your family has seen this all before then I know that they will understand. "Why me " days ar more than Ok to have at times and this is a good place to vent these thoughts. Hang in there, Samex

[bleh]

So today I had my third lot of Chemo - but with a different regime. Now I only have Taxol and Carboplatin. I thought the last lot was bad, but this is absolute hell. As soon as they started chemo this morning I threw up - it was like minutes into things. My doctor was there and all I could say was 'No way, I can't do this - it's too awful'. He was so wonderful, told me that yes I could do it, and sat with me for almost an hour talking about normal things like his family and how he has 4 daughters. I feel absolutely wrecked after this morning. I hate complaining, but seriously this sucks so much. I've never felt so disgusting in all my life and I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I also had my hair cut shorter again today as it's falling out all over the place. I feel like I'm losing my femininity. For everyone else going through Chemo, or has had Chemo today - I'm thinking of you and hope you're all coping as best you can. Joanna xoxo

[Jules2]

Hey Joanna So sorry to read you are having such a hard time with your chemo!! Hopefully that will improve for you. I did that with my hair and then when it was time i shaved it. For me that happened before it got too patchy and thin. It is a hard thing to do but i was glad i did it and decided that i wanted to say when i was gonna be bald and not the cancer. Good luck with everything and hope you get some improvement. Julie xo

[WishingStar]

Hi Joanna, Sending you a cyber hug - hang in there! Nicole

[joyhoney]

dear Joanna, thinking of you, hope everything goes well. Joyhoney

[richard61]

Hi Joanna, I will have chemo after one week as I got bowel cancer. I am really scare it too, but if you would pass that ,which would help me pass too. All the best ! Richard

[bleh]

Thanks everyone. You've all really encouraged me. I think by the end of the week I'll probably take the plunge and shave it all off, but until then I just can't let go! I was growing my hair for my wedding in July 😞 Anyway, thanks again to all of you - you've been such a help and I'm hanging in there with the chemo... JUST!!!!

[bev]

Hello, Just read everyone's comments, so encouraging for Joanne. Best of luck with the rest of your treatment Joanne. Bev