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little_stitcher

Hi Susy, this is such a hard situation. I didn't experience it with my husband (and I feel enormously lucky and grateful for that), but I have heard of it a few times, particularly if the medications include steroids. If your husband is on steroids it might be worth discussing this with his GP, to see if his medication can be adjusted at all. If not, it still might be worthwhile discussing with the GP, especially if it goes on for more than a day or two- you don't have to put up with this treatment unsupported. Sending big hugs your way, Emily

little_stitcher

I'm so sorry that your news was not more positive. Know that we're all here for you. love and gentle hugs, Emily

little_stitcher

I read your post and just thought: "GAAAAHHHHH!!!". How insanely frustrating and scary! I'm really glad you found this site, it's a great place to vent/connect/ask/be supported. Keep in touch, and I hope you get some plain answers soon. love Emily

little_stitcher

Here is an update (which illustrates the effects of anxiety!)- I double checked the dates on the blood tests, and they are not six months apart (these are results from the GP, not the Onc. The first one is from 18 months ago, the second from 5 months ago, and the last from last week- so there is no pattern to the decline. I'm finding this oddly comforting, as it doesn't necessarily indicate that a process is happening- it could just be normal fluctuations.

little_stitcher

My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 follicular nhl in 2011. He went into remission after 3 months of chemotherapy, and has been doing brilliantly- up until now. He is due for a check up in 2 weeks, and we just got his blood test results today- his lymphocytes have been dropping over the past 12 months (he has 6 monthy blood tests). The thing that worries me the most is that they have been dropping at a steady rate- 0.3 every 6 months. They are just borderline normal, but it's the trend that I'm really concerned about. His check up was supposed to be today, but it had to be moved, and I'm going to be freaking out for the next 2 weeks. He's concerned as well, but we're trying not to worry each other. I just wanted to post because I knew that everyone here would understand what it's like. Thanks for being here.

little_stitcher

I have to agree with Zen-the uncertainty of post cancer life is really hard. My husband has been in remission for 4 years, and I've had to make an effort to concentrate on living the great life we have now, and not just be 'waiting'. I saw a therapist as well, and also found it really helpful in dealing with the 'new normal', and addressing my fears about him relapsing. I also agree with Zen that it does get better gradually. Big hugs to all, Emiy

little_stitcher

Hi Kate, I can see why you say you can't go away at the moment. Could your Aunt help you with caring for your Mum, maybe bringing her meals occasionally etc? Or at least be there with you sometimes? I think that would be really good. You don't and wouldn't owe your Mum an explaination why, or maybe you could just say she wanted to help. I really feel for you, and hope things get better. love Emily

little_stitcher

Katie that's terrible! When you say you're caring for your Mum, what kind of tasks does that involve? Would it be safe for you to go away for a couple of days to get a break ?(and also hopefully let your Mum get some perspective and learn to appreciate what you're doing for her!) Can you also talk to your Aunt? If she's seeing your Mum's nasty side too, she would at least understand what you're going through. Could she also help you with the work of caring? Could you also talk to the home nurse, she may have seen this before and have some idea about what to do. You don't have to put up with this on your own. love Emily

little_stitcher

Hi Kate, what a terrible situation! This is definitely not what most carer's experience, which leads me to ask- Is your Mum on steroids as part of her treatment at all? These can sometimes effect people's moods and personalities (or some other drugs can too). You could have a chat with her GP and find out if any of her drugs could be effecting her moods and behaviour, then see if they can be changed/decreased/supplemented, for both your sakes. Otherwise I agree with Julie, that your Mum may need some help to learn to express herself more constructively. You definitely don't deserve this treatment, and if your Mum won't do anything about it then can I encourage you to look at getting some counselling support, as caring for someone is hard enough without being abused as well! Warm hugs from Emily

little_stitcher

Hi Kate, what a terrible situation! This is definitely not what most carer's experience, which leads me to ask- Is your Mum on steroids as part of her treatment at all? These can sometimes effect people's moods and personalities (or some other drugs can too). You could have a chat with her GP and find out if any of her drugs could be effecting her moods and behaviour, then see if they can be changed/decreased/supplemented, for both your sakes. Otherwise I agree with Julie, that your Mum may need some help to learn to express herself more constructively. You definitely don't deserve this treatment, and if your Mum won't do anything about it then can I encourage you to look at getting some counselling support, as caring for someone is hard enough without being abused as well! Warm hugs from Emily

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