February 2013
I'm so sorry you have to go through this, Tammy. It's beautiful that you were there all the way through. I'm sending gentle hugs- Emily
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February 2013
Thanks guys. It's really encouraging to hear from people who understand. love Emily
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February 2013
Hi everyone, I just need to vent here, because if I do it anywhere else I could hurt some good friends.
One of my best friend's brother-in-law has just had his tonsils out. To be fair, he does have depression, and had a traumatic experience in hospital as a young child, but to hear him complain (all over facebook, and even a blog) you'd think he was suffering all the ills of the world at once. His latest complaint is that the no name brand of panadeine is worse to swallow than the panadol brand. I'm soooooooo tempted to comment that they make a suppository, but think that may be to close to telling him to shove it up..... (you can fill in the rest)
Knowing how much everyone on this forum is suffering, and with such strength, patience, grace and courage, I feel really angry at his whinging. I don't want to say anything, though, because I see him once a month at my book group, and his sister in law (the host) is one of my closest friends. I could ignore it, except that he posts a new whine every few hours. And given that he was convinced that he wasn't going to survive the surgery, and was telling everyone he would be in ICU for a week afterwards; being able to swallow a tablet, at home in bed, should be a good thing.
Thanks so much for letting me vent! It's so great to have this space for it. I'm wishing everyone many happy suprises. Emily
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February 2013
Hi Cara, can I start by saying that every one of your rants is legitimate. I don't think you're a faker at all, though. You and your family are (unfortunately) definitely going through this stuff, and you're fully entitled to be involved in whatever cancer support services you need and want.
It's interesting that a lot of what you're saying sounds familiar to me, even though my circumstances are completely different. I guess being a carer is fairly similar in a lot of cases- the guilt, regret, fatigue, frustration and fear. Keep hanging in there, and rant whenever you need to. I wish you and your family a smooth ride. love Emily
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February 2013
Hi April, I imagine most department stores would sell something which would be suitable. The "Look Good, Feel Better" program (I think it's run by the Cancer Council, or they can at least put you in touch with them) has tutorials on creative ways to tie headscarves- with a bit of guidance and creativity you'd be able to make just about any piece of fabric work. Good luck!
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January 2013
Thank you Tony. One of the really difficult things, as a carer, is to not be able to fix things. It's great to know that the frustration and helplessness carers experience is understood by those cared for. In the end, it comes down to us all being in this together, and that cancer really does suck as much as we all think it does! I'm wishing you many happy suprises. love Emily
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January 2013
Hi Randi, what a tough situation you're in. If you need some advice, the hospital social work department might be able to inform you about what financial help and services you and your husband are entitled to. (You may be able to get centrelink benefits, and help around the house etc.) His nurse should be able to hook you up with them. Good luck with everything, keep in touch! We're all here for you.
love Emily
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January 2013
Hey Dazza, good on you for organising counselling. Be kind to yourself. love Emily
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January 2013
Sending lots of huge hugs. Please do keep posting- I'd like to keep hearing from you. Be gentle with yourself. Lots of love, Emily
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January 2013
I've found it to be quite a common experience that people just fall away, are really insensitive, or really don't understand.
One of my friends compared my husband's cancer diagnosis, and her continuing singless as equally traumatic ("everyone has problems"); one friend responded to the news of the diagnoses with 'oh well' and hanging up the phone, and even my in-laws reacted with "well, life is a terminal disease" (the only reason they got away with that unbruised was because we were Skyping them in England)
I think that cancer is just something so terrible to think about that a lot of people respond flippantly, as a defense. I think also that a lot of people want to help, but don't know what to do, so they give any advice they can think of (usually disasterous!) The urge to punch 'helpful' or hurtful idiots never really goes away, so I usually find it best to keep my distance from them.
I'm really sorry to hear that you have been hurt on this forum. I've always found venting on here to be good, as everyone has a first hand experience of cancer. But I guess that also means that everyone on here is in a certain amount of pain and fatigue, so is possibly less sensitive than they usually would be. I'm glad you perserved though.
I wish you strength for the journey. Sending hugs too! love Emily
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