I think this is a really important point, especially if the person you're caring for is your main support person (spouse, etc.) When my husband was going through chemo, I felt I couldn't confide in him as much as I normally would have, because what he was dealing with was so much worse. He comforted me as much as I would let him, but my main focus was helping him deal with chemo, and facing his own mortality. So who helped me deal with watching the suffering, and potentially the death, of the love of my life? This deficit became apparent when he was in remission, and I finally fell in a heap. It was finally time to deal with my emotions, but I didn't want to drown my recovering husband with my belated grief, anxiety and trauma (especially when he was central to the trigger!). Counselling has really helped me to deal with this, and embrace the good stage of life we're currently in. ... View more

Lynne, what a tough, tough thing to go through. I really feel for you. Sending lots of hugs. love Emily ... View more

I'm wishing you all good things for the fight ahead- I love your attitude! Hugs and good thoughts, Emily ... View more

Hey Kim, I certainly sympathise with your position- what on earth do you say? Unfortunately, in my experience, there's nothing you can say. My husband was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma 18 months ago. I found the best thing, when he got upset, was just to silently hold him. I think in those situations people aren't actually looking for answers, but just to know they're not alone while they process these huge emotions. Even if you just sit with your Dad and hold his hand, that will be hugely valuable and comforting for him. A carer/supporter's role is not to have all the answers, or make the person they're caring for feel better. Even though that's what we want to do! What we can do is just be there for them, and let them know they are loved. On a practical note, do you think joining a forum like this, or some other interactive medium, would be helpful for your Dad when he can't sleep? The Cancer Council Hotline is open 24/7, and this website is always accessible. If your Dad does start to worry, he has the option of connecting with other people in similar situations, or trained counsellors. I hope this has been somewhat helpful. Take care of yourself, as well. love Emily ... View more

Maddie, I'm so sad for you. It's so hard when other people don't understand, as well. I'd love to have some comforting words, but I know there are't any. Just know that I and other people on this forum are sending you love. Emily ... View more

People who are heartless and shameless in promoting their business. The administrators are good at managing the disruptions, but it's still really annoying and, in a way, insulting. I hate it too! ... View more

Dear Maddy you are living my nightmare (and 10 years younger, too). I love your attitude, and wish you nothing but good things for 2013. May you have joyful suprises every day. Emily. x ... View more

Happy New Year Rubes! May 2013 bring joy to your strong and generous heart. -clinks a glass in your direction- Emily x ... View more

I'm so sorry for your loss, Lorelai. The first Christmas and birthday after someone has gone are usually hard, and you have a double whammy. I don't know if it will be helpful to you (or possible, at this late stage), but the Christmas after my cousin passed away (on 1st December one year) we did things differently than we had on previous years. We usually had a family lunch at my parents house, that year we went to a restaurant. I think it was particularly helpful for his parents that things weren't supposed to be the way they had been previously. I'm sending you big hugs. xx ... View more