christmas day was dreadful - 3 months since Craig died. I can barely think, I just find myself silently screaming or sitting in the empty house with tears sliding silently down my face....how much pain, lonliness, anxiety and sadness can one handle? when and how does a new normality commence - one without this dagger in my heart 24/7? ... View more

you are so very right.....sympathy is not wanted, answers are comfort - regardless of their composition. you and your dear family have been hit hard - treatments are tiresome and answers are so very vague - well they were for us. ASK ASK ASK...eventually you may tag a great carer, doctor, nurse or social worker who relates to your needs and can provide you with answers to your asked and not asked questions. very confronting but then maybe, if like me you need to wrestle some semblance of control, it might be of help. Take care and know that there are people who do understand. ... View more

I finally took the effort and ordered the urns to scatter craig's remains. they arrived today. the box is huge, i haven't unwrapped it yet, just put it in the lounge room...just can't take it further at present. i may just leave it all boxed up and take it like that to the funeral parlour for them to organise it - might be a little easier on me at the moment. then i will attend to scattering some of the ashes where he loved to fish....not easy. ... View more

thanks emily, i use to be quite okay with cross stiching & knitting but unfortunately my fine and major motor skills have been adversely affected by health problems - so I need to redevelop and retrain for these. I so appreciate your advice and will go and give it a try - fingers crossed there won't be too much blood - 🙂 ... View more

now to hear my sole relative - aunt in melbourne has gone missing....she had enough of her supported accommodation and is now on the missing persons list - ENOUGH ALREADY!!! ... View more

Oh Jill, My heart goes out to you and your loved ones at this time. Cancer is such a brutal force that relentlessly targets our loved ones. What a valiant fighter your dear husband must have been and such a wonderful man to have you beside him throughout his battle. His memory and spirit will live forever in your hearts and through those he touched. Hugs and blessings to you and your loved ones Jill and please be gentle with yourself atm....I have heard that for the past 2 months but finally get it - take all the time you need and be mindful of your needs (which you might have pushed aside over the past months). x Amanda. ... View more

Dear Deni55, You'be been in my prayers these past days. Just wanted you to know that we have you in our thoughts. Amanda. ... View more

thank you all for your support. i continue with counselling and although not able to return to work due to my health issues i am going to see if i can find something to draw my attention for at least some part of the week - just need to determine what it is i like, can do etc...maybe then the all consuming black cloud might lighten for an hour or two. ... View more

dear hel, my thoughts are with you and your dear husband. positive thoughts, care and kindness are so powerful and i so hope that good news comes your way. I know the not eating story...everything i read and was told was to offer regularly and often, all of which were rejected and refused with gusto - they can be so strong willed. Take care of yourself Hel and may you both find relief and positives through this journey. ... View more

i am finding it so difficult. i can barely function at times... ... View more