Hi sch   You nailed it. That's what I'm experiencing. However, dog rule.   So I found out yesterday arvo that the cancer was in a single solitary piss-ant little lymph node. So it's off to chemo for me. So now I have an appointment with an oncologist later this month. Chemo will start around 6 weeks post surgery.    I'm not sure exactly when I started thinking this fight would be a cake walk. The news zapped a lot of strength. I've started getting angry at people checking up on me to see how I am. I guess I'm angry.   ... View more

Hi Kate,   Puppy stories need photos.   My next step is recover from surgery, while waiting for pathology to come back. I will see my surgeon in 4 weeks, but if chemo is needed, I don't know when it is supposed to start. Still a little fuzzy in that area.   Also, in the meantime, is learning how to manage an ostomy bag at home, then at work. It's a crappy situation, but poo jokes are on the rise in my family. Despite being a little pun-gent.   I guess that's extension 3. Getting less brief. ... View more

Hi Forum,   Just replying to myself to extend my brief introduction to less brief.   Release from hospital today. Still going through a lot and suffering pain. But that is all surgical related. Apart from having a stoma and bag hanging off the front of me, my suffering hasn't been the result of cancer. It was silently killing me in the background , mostly unnoticed.  I may have experienced all this trauma if I was having my appendix out. So it's kind of like it doesn't count. Like I shouldn't complain. I had cancer, it was cut out and now it's just surgery pain to worry about.   I am still experiencing that voice telling me, don't be soft, harden up, just ignore it. I think it's called Man Disease. I thought Dr Corbett beat that to death with my diagnosis, but obviously not. I think I'm going to be fighting with myself a lot. Being cancer free doesn't mean I'm no longer a cancer patient. I still have a stoma. I still have an upcoming surgery. I still have a major change in lifestyle ahead. I may still need chemo. I may still have early signs of cancer in my lungs. Let's not mention the emotional burden so far and yet to come.   Cancer free, not cancer patient free. It's not hard to reconcile. Cancer patient for life, however long or short it may be. I guess the goal is to reach the highest point where quantity and quality meet; and try to not get hit by the bus before then.   On a lighter note... do you like my profile picture? This is Sally, my nine year old cavalier king Charles. She is Daddy's princess and she has been missing me like crazy. Looking forward to going home for cuddles.   I'm a dog person. Post me photos of your four legged friends.   Au revoir   ... View more

Thank you for your post. I was awake most of the night crying over other people's stories. The good stories help me as much as the bad stories.   I am trying to understand my journey and what it means to me and my loved ones. I hope my story will be a happy one. Regardless, hopefully it helps someone else with their journey.   All the best ... View more

Chin up. Keep smiling.   I hope you work things out with your sister. There is no right or wrong way to act or react. It's easier to hurt people who are close to you.   I'll be crossing my fingers for you and your family. If that doesn't work, I'll cross my toes, kneas and eyes for you too.   All the best Cat ... View more

Hi,   I'm a patient, not a medical professional.   Get it checked out as soon as you can. My post is a little late since the weekend has now passed, but seek a doctor's advice. We are cancer patients. Time is not our friend. I don't think there is a time when you shouldn't be fighting.   All the best. ... View more

Hi,   Our stories seem closely aligned. I also have bowel cancer. I thought I could have written your post for you, our experiences are quite similar.   I've just had surgery a few days ago. Not much else to do in hospital at 5:00am, so I'm cruising this site. I haven't been diagnosed with secondary cancer but they are watching some spots on my lungs over the next few months.   This is the first time I've had surgery. It's tough enough. I now have to learn to live with an ostomy bag, which is a huge change. But realistically, my life changed from the moment they confirmed my diagnosis. Now it's like I can't recognise who I used to be. I don't think I can be that person again. If I look at the good side of things, I've grown as a person. I could be fighting a losing battle, but I still fighting. I've found hope and I see myself differently in the role I have amongst family and friends. I feel a strong urge to be here for them, not for me, and I've gained strength from that.   I guess what I am saying is that of all the emotional turmoil, I found something to give me hope and a desire to fight. Not every day is great, some days I am overwhelmed with sadness, but I feel I need to have my sad days too, if only to keep me grounded. Remind me of who I am now. I think I'm a better human being and that means something to me.   All the best. ... View more

Hi,   Feeling alone was only one of my issues. I had many dark emotions. I actually needed to be alone. I didn't want to block people out, but I needed to find some me time and be alone with my thoughts. It was easier to cry when alone. But there were times when the loneliness was not my choosing. It was on a level where those closest too me could experience my fear and sense of being cheated.   Without getting results or updates, we had almost 2 weeks of uncertainty, thinking about worst case scenario versus moderate versus best. So much could happen, we didn't know which way things would go. It was a relief to get bad news from the surgeon, being better than no news. I think uncertainty was my biggest enemy. Things improved when I found a direction, we could weigh up risks and options. I still don't have an idea of how long I may live, but I decided I'm not going down without a fight. The fight has given me direction and it's enabled me to put family support behind achieving my goals.   I hope this helps you. The best suggestion I can offer is to write it down. If you can't write a song or a poem, just try journally. You don't have to share it but it might help you to sort it out in your head. Try writing a letter to a loved one who has passed. You might find you have a lot to tell them.   Cheers ... View more