Hi patches did you receive my long post?  I sure hope you did, but I haven’t heard back from you, so I’m just concerned about you and your husband.  ❤️ ... View more

Hi Lolie,  stay positive my friend.  Remember GIRL POWER!!!  A woman’s strength is beyond any, that’s why we give birth.  You got this...and I’m in your corner cheering you on.  ❤️ ... View more

Hi Lolie,     It’s incredibly hard, considering he doesn’t know as only me and the kids do right now.  I’m just tierd  of feeling invisible yet I’m not when he isn’t feeling well.  💔.  How are you feeling? I’m sending you a great big hug     ... View more

Thank you Lolie!  ❤️ ... View more

Hi Ria,      I think BJ067 just gave you the best advice.  You didn’t say what kind of cancer or what stage.  But honestly when they hear cancer, think of how scared they are.  It not fair to you to take it out on you, because you are on this journey together.  I can tell you, he doesn’t have a girlfriend.  He is home sick with Cancer.  Is he on steroids.  Bc my husband was extremely mean on steroids and I still can’t believe the things he said or called me.  When you go to the next dr’s appt speak to someone and tell them how mean he is to you.  I learnt this myself first hand.  They took him immediately lowered his dose of steroids and the next week took him completely off.  I noticed a huge change just with the reducing the steroid, so when he came off he was nicer.  And when he is nasty now, it’s not as bad as the steroid.  The dr. Told me we should always tell them of changes, even talking to us differently than before is different and could be a side effect of treatment or worse the cancer is somewhere else or spread.  But in order for him to get the right treatment you need to talk to them privately.  Call them before you go back so it’s behind his back.  Wishing you the best and I’m sending my thoughts and prayers your way.  Please keep in touch.  🙏🏻❤️ ... View more

Hi Hestas,    I’m glad to finally hear back from you.  I hope things are getting better for you and your husband.  I totally hear you when you say you feel invisible.  I feel this all the time.  Don’t get me wrong when he is scared and needs me, of course I’m there.  But most of the time I just feel like a robot and invisible.  I can do so much good things and get nothing in return for the care and love I give.  I’m running on empty.  I am just asking myself tonight why am I staying, when I feel so down, sad, emotionally Amess.  When I’m not feeling any love.  I’m so heart broken.  My heart totally goes out to you.  But know that you have to be an amazing woman to stay and care for your husband.  You do this out of love for him.  Have you tried talking to him?  I have tried and I get him to be nice and then he goes back to him again.  It sucks...Cancer sucks...we don’t even know what our old life looked like before this.  Well I can’t remember.  I can remember smiles and laughter vaguely.  I am sending you a great big hug.  I hope you start getting the love and affection you deserve.  Tell him you don’t want any regrets and that you deserve a loving husband, because you are there being a loving caring wife.  If you cry does he even show he cares?  Does it bother him you cry.  It doesn’t even faze my husband.  Well again I hope to hear back from you bc venting is good, and you will see your not alone...we are all hurting emotionally and not getting the damn love and respect we deserve...I don’t need a thank you.  But I sure in hell deserve to be treated better than an A-hole friend, who lives their life and I’m here 24/7...hugs to you please keep in touch, it helps the heart and mind to vent and like I said you are not alone...xo ... View more

Hi Patches,  I guess my very long post was lost, so here I go again.  I took this picture during one of our hospital stays.  When I look at it, I remember he reached for me, I remember he needed me! I remember he was grateful I was there.  I remember he felt comfort in knowing I was right by his side.  When I cry bc he isn’t as nice to me as others, I try to look at this picture and say he needs me, he’s scared, he knows I’m here for him and that he trusts that I will always be there for him.  These days I feel so beat down, that I hope some day I can look at this picture and say he loved me so much.  Cancer sucks the life out of our loved ones with Cancer they are experiencing every emotion spinning thru their heads at lightening speed.  We in turn are feeling so many emotions not having Cancer but scared, as I have said before we are the next best thing as to having it, we are scared as a wife or partner, mother or not, we have many emotions running in our heads.  Then to think on top of everything we are giving of ourselves, is it enough?  Why are they being verbally mean? Why are they acting so emotionally detached when we cry?  I sometimes say I wish I was a friend or a stranger bc then he would be at least nicer.  I’m so glad that your husbands son is getting to hear that his dad loves him.  I understand that only hearing it here or there and now hearing it every time is different and difficult, but he will be so glad he did.  He will now know how his father did really love him, and was proud of the man his son grew up to be.  If he ever doubted his love.  I’m sorry you had to get rid of your kitten, bc they can add so much comfort to those who are sick or going thru a lot emotionally.  I also totally know about expressing my feelings over and over again to my husband and he will be nice and then back to that same person, with me again in tears.  Not feeling needed in away that I can’t express but yet needed...if that makes any sense.  The pain that Cancer puts us all thru,  is just the worst and heartbreaking 💔. You are an amazing wife with a great big heart and soul.   He does need you, he loves you more than you will ever know.  He is scared not only for himself but for you and his kids.  You are moving in with his dad.  He is scared for his dad.  It’s funny bc as I’m writing this to you I wish I could believe all I am writing in my husband.  You are amazing, loving and caring.  I take everything minute by minute.  Anything more than that I feel dizzy and lightheaded and have a complete anxiety attack.  I am always here I don’t know where you live, I’m in the Boston area.  But know that every day and minute you have is a blessing.  I know you don’t want him in pain, but remember that you are the one who is his advocate.  You see him in any pain you speak up.  I know you will, your stronger than you think, as I know I am.  But a broken heart can weigh heavy on us.  I am thinking of you and your husband Patches.  I hope to hear back from you and we keep in touch.  ❤️ ... View more

Hi Patches, I don’t know what happened to my very long post with picture.  So I am gonna wait one hour and see if it posts and if not I will write another.  Thinking of you and your hubby...I truly hope it posts!!! 🙏🏻❤️ ... View more

Patches, if he feels strong enough to go thru the chemo and gives him any glimpse of hope, it’s always worth it.  Stay strong!  We are always here for you...❤️ ... View more

My Heart goes out to you and your family Patches!  Sending you a great big hug...❤️ ... View more