Hi, I suffered eating purred foods for weeks and weeks suffering the same cancer as your Mum. After radiotherapy my oesophagus has widened and am able to eat normaly. It seems with chemo following the first week food tastes terrible then improves the second week, it seems to be a cycle. I seem to be breezing through chemo so I hope your Mums the same  I hope this helps  ... View more

My daughter 35 has HER2+ breast cancer diagnosed late last year.  She just finished her chemotherapy/immunotherapy.  She was really sick also.  The doctor had to include Benadryl in her infusion to fight the allergic reaction and she ended up having an opium tincture prescribed for her acute lower intestinal issues.  She just finisher her last round and is going to have a double mastectomy in a couple of weeks.  Make sure your wife’s doctor knows of her symptoms and ask what more can be done to make her feel better. You just have to be persistent as the care team gets so busy with lots of patients.  Call today and good luck.  She will get through this with lots of support from her loved ones.  I do a lot of child care for my small granddaughters as does my daughtert’s mother in law.  Keep posting to let yes know how she is doing. ... View more

Dear Diana69 you are carrying such a heavy burden and it is so sad. You are a very strong person to be able to manage yourself like you are. I admire you for your courage. Keep being strong and supportive. ... View more

Hi Linda, Dad  has said he’s keen to start the radiation, we speak to his oncologist Wednesday for our plan. He’s told my mum he’s not scared to die, but I’m scared for him to die, I will never be ready for him to go 😭 my problem is I’m over thinking everything, I’m watching him and if he looks deep in thought I’m scared what he’s thinking of, if he wants dinner a little later like tonight, I’m thinking he’s not feeling good, I’m getting myself in quite a state, this is just all such a shock I don’t know how to cope. Tomorrow we have an appointment with dads GP, he said apparently there’s a lot he can do for dad, my mother being a very negative and with respect not a nice person a lot of the time said….well I can’t imagine what!!!!!!!!!!! I guess he might mean pain relief when the time comes, I will find out tomorrow . I’m finding this so confronting and honestly am not coping very well a lot of the time, I try to seem positive in front of dad but cry often when I’m alone. I don’t know how to cope with any of this, I don’t know how to cope with my mum once dad goes, she’s a very nasty person most of the time I know that sounds bad coming from me but she’s been this way most of my life. Dad says it himself, she can be quite cruel. I will never leave my dad but will struggle with mum. I’m really struggling at the moment, I just want it all to go away, but it won’t! Thank you for your messages, I know you understand. 🙏💙 ... View more

I know what you mean, I’ve helped out with my husband since last April. I am the designated driver, and have helped keep everything sanitary and organized , home, food, bills, his Dr appts, his questions on his health problems etc, his medications etc.. sine last April. You have nothing to be guilty about, it’s important you make time for yourself to do your hobbies or run errands, exercise or socialize. Let him know it’s nothing against him..( mine acts similarly but has always been that way.j. You’ll feel so much better if you make time for just yourself. It usually will help you deal with things a little better..( it’s still hard, I know) My spouse is luckily doing better now, adjuvant chemo is working ok for him..he’s physically doing much better ( he’s never been in hardly any pain, thank goodness) so far so good., he seems about 95% back to normal.. Talking with a counselor could be an option tp help you lighten the load a little. I wish you the best, you are not alone. ... View more

Hi BadWolf73 absolutely family and friends come along for the free ride, unfortunately many soon jump  off !!! ... View more

Hello Maher, I am so very sorry for what you and your dear dad are going through. Please ask your self, "why do you feel like a failure" is it because you are not caring for your dad as you should? or is it because maybe there is nothing you can do to help him right now. It must be so sad to watch your dad's health deteriorating in front of you, I am sure that you are  doing your very best to care and love your dad, so I think you feel like a failure because it is out of your power to make your dad feel better. As humans we always try to find something or someone to blame for those things that we can not change or improve, please do not be so hard on yourself.  Your dad right now needs someone to be there for him, provide love, support or just sit there next to him, and that special person is you, so think about that next time you feel like a failure, as it is not easy to care for someone and not many people will understand all the things you go through every day to give your dad the best care he deserves. If you are an Australian resident, I would like to suggest calling 131120 our information and support number. There you can learn about our support and services, like counselling and telephone support group for people caring for someone diagnosed with advanced cancer.   Sending you and your dad my best wishes Susana Cancer Council Online Community ... View more

Hello Erica55, I am very sorry to hear about your mum's passing, it is never easy saying goodbye to a loved one specially mum as they provide us with a special attachment and sense of safety. There is not much we can say to help you feel a little bit better, just allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel, (Sad, angry, happy, hopeful) without feeling any sort of guilt. if you are an Australian resident  I would like to suggest calling 131120 number if you need to talk to someone or find more information about some of our services. Sending you a virtual hugh Warm regards Susana Cancer Council Online Community ... View more

Hi Deadalready88 my thoughts with you, and I feel with you, friends and family will never really understand what we are going through, no matter what they say, they are are all doing there best and I do acknowledge that. I had decided I would go through major surgery for my bladder and rare ureter cancer, and after I got the details and cost of my surgery on Friday, all has changed. My body is going to be mutilated as far as I’m concerned and I will not be going through this, so have decided I will not be having surgery. Have decided to go with a third opinion and my GP is now doing a report for referral to public system at Peter MacCallum, as I’m not sick have little pain I’m simply going to try to go on with life, I have a stent in my ureter which I know will have to be changed again in a matter of a month or two, I feel I have been very let down and I’m at a stage of no more, so will wait to hear from public system as I do know the major system with what has been put in writing will never happen  ... View more

Hi Reece87,   This must be extremely distressing for you and everyone eventually finds their way to cope.  There's no magic solution for grief. You have time in this grief to work out what you want to say and do to ease her journey as well as your own.   It sounds as if you've had a close bond throughout your life and that is a blessing on its own though your journey with you sister will stop earlier than either of you anticipated.  Do you have any old photos of the two of you when you were younger?  Perhaps you could show them to her or send them to her and you could write about the wonderful memories that you shared together.   I think that could also being her joy and perhaps some laughter.  Did you dance around to special songs?  Remind her of those.  Celebrate her life with her.  The grief is hard but I would rather feel that than not have had that love throughout your lives.          You could talk about what she wants for her daughter in the future.  I don't know what her situation is or who the child will end up living with but try to keep in contact with her as well.  It's unfortunate your son is seeing you sad and distressed but unavoidable.  Talk to him about it and explain that sometimes in life, very sad things happen and it's ok to be sad and cry because that's how we let the sadness out.  It's also ok to spend time with your son and make happy memories that he will look back on one day that bring him joy.   I wish you well on your journey which is a really hard one and I think you will get through it by focusing on what you do right now because today is all we have for sure.   ... View more