Hi Judy welcome to the forums 🙂 ... apologies but i know nothing about kidney cancer but am sure you will get something out of this site. You could do some research with reputable websites before you go and see your oncologist. Search some of the cancer groups around also to see what others are doing and see what sits well with you and your situation. Good luck with your information gathering and sorry i cant help. Julie ... View more

Hey i_t Sending you hugsss ... it is tough to watch loved ones suffer. That was my one comfort when i lost my father. I would never wish him back the way he was. Do you know about the cancer council helpline? You can call them if things get too much and you feel like talking to someone. Sometimes it is easier to talk to someone that isnt close to us. 13 11 20 is the number, not sure what time they close the helpline ... over here its 8pm i think. Do you have any help in caring for your mum? hugss Julie ... View more

Hey i_t Mum's understand about son's because they just do ... so don't worry too much about that! Julie 🙂 ... View more

Hey Jill I was just thinking of you and wondering how you are. It must be so hard for you and you have been so brave and wonderful throughout your whole ordeal. Sending you lots of cyber hugs. Julie xo ... View more

Hi Purpleangel You sound like you are having a tough time at the moment! Regarding your children, have you been in contact with a social worker from your hospital or perhaps someone from the cancer council? There is help out there and it would at least give you some support and backup with the children. Julie ... View more

yayyy you cherrybird ... how wonderful to spend some special time with special friends in such amazing circumstances ... new baby!! wow Great that you got to spend some time with your mum and dad too. :) Julie ... View more

@ samex comletely agree re weeding people out. 🙂 How nice that you had a friend that acknowledged you in your toast to your friend. Some people just have that amazing knack of doing the right thing in such a lovely way. ... View more

@ Deejay ... Behavioural strategies are great but then it makes me wonder whether friendships should be such hard work. I think being diagnosed with cancer makes me think and evaluate different aspects of my life from work through to friendships. Absolutely re cancer being hard work ... its been a fulltime job for me for quite some time. Except for the last couple of months ... now i am trying to recover from the crappy full time job i had! Seriously though it does make you think and i think a lot of people refuse to acknowledge that because they just cant handle it. Never mind that we have no choice but to handle it! Upside of it has been for me, that i have made new friends and have had some wonderful offers from wonderful people. So, although i mourn the person i once was and the life i once had ... the new one is here and it is just something i have to come to terms with. ... View more

Harker does have a great point though. What is there to end? Well done Harker! Deejay, to be honest some of this is my fault because prior to my diagnosis i did do the travelling. Got sucked into the sob story about how i dont have time etc... i run a business etc.... and so it goes on and on. Reality is I am not prepared to drop and run how i used to ... i will still keep the friendship as such i guess. It will be more on my terms this time though and not such a one way street. Shame re your friend also and 4 hours is a lot to travel especially when its not reciprocated. Sometimes we can thank our enemies. :) Julie ... View more

Hiya Deej Gawwwd I smiled as I read this one! Could have been me writing this except for the distance. I had one friend that while i was having treatment and pre treatment and being stuck in hospital 200km and she used to visit twice a week and was my sanity really. Now that I am back home again she wants things to return to normal - which is that i drive the 50km round trip to see here and no returns! Consequently we havent seen one another for a very long time. I cant and dont want to go back to it being a one way street and wait for some random event for her to do her bit. So, do i think you are being unreasonable? Nope, not on your nelly! Julie ps cheers to the new us ?? Sometimes i wonder :) ... View more