Hi Mo,
Uff what a ride you are on right now, I am so sorry to hear about all the ups and downs, and that expected emotional rollercoaster when facing a cancer diagnosis.
There are so many things you mention in your post, they are all valid, is a ride no one wants to be on.
Do not let your body define who you are as a person, we all want to be there for our loved ones, and it is not your decision or wish to leave them so you are not failing anyone.
Just remember in life there is time to love and provide help and support to others, right now it is time for you to receive it.
You also mentioned writing letters to those close to you, what a lovely idea. Just write them, share with them your thoughts and feelings it is always nice to know those things, even if there are things that might be not as nice. After writing those letters (open hearted) you can decide if you want them to be delivered or not, right now is a good way to let those feelings out of your chest.
I hope others in the community would be willing to share with you their own personal experience.
Best wishes
Susana
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