Hi Karen70... I lost my husband in May  2024- the week before his 57th birthday so understand what you're going through.  I miss him every day.  He was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel and liver cancer after heart issues after the AstraZeneca covid flu shot.  He ended up on blood thinners which erupted  his bowel tumor (primary tumour).  We have (had) 3 boys - 25, 23, 16 - the eldest 2 from his previous marriage but we raised them all since they were young.  I thought it would get easier but it's got so much harder - I don't know what to do with myself.  Our youngest son is doing really well.  The middle son gone back to live with his mother after 15 years is doing it tough and the oldest one moved out - but struggling.  I wish I could help you - always here to chat if you need someone to talk to.  No one understands unless we've been through it - but all have good intentions.  Take care of yourself and your children. xx ... View more

I absolutely feel your pain, anguish and devastation, some advice that i was given is to be kind to yourself, allow yourself to feel the grief and just take one day at a time. Don't be afraid to seek help if you need it. My husband past away almost 5 months ago and yesterday found myself needing to pull over in to the emergency lane on the freeway due to me sobbing uncontrollably and I continue to do my shopping in a nearby suburb as the fear of bumping into someone I know overwhelms me. I also feel that I will spend the rest of my life in sadness. We have lost our best friend and the love of our life ... View more

So sorry for your loss Jodie From the day Tracy was diagnosed till the unfortunate end I  had put  my emotions on hold, I had to,  as i was her pillar of support, her rock in this universe and she was mine. It was hard times for me once Tracy had physically gone, as it was time now for me to release the grief, what you are experiencing now. Not a day goes by that i don’t think about Tracy sometimes bringing me to tears and other times sharing a chuckle as i remember the good times we had together. Its now been two  + years  since I lost my soulmate in this universe and thinking back now to what i was experiencing in the week following i fully understand the deep grief  you must be feeling. Jodie keep moving forward taking it day by day, you are allowed to grieve however  you want, and yes you might feel guilty about things but i can say totally normal feelings as you can only find the right way to deal with the grief that suits you. Good support base of friends and family around you, including this forum, I  found it very helpful in my progress, it gave me an outlet to vent my frustrations, anxiety and feelings knowing that in a way we were all comforting each other in the process. I can say Jodie that the grief you are feeling now will get better even though you  probably  cant  see it as time moves forward. I couldn’t see it at first either however I slowly  learnt to be able to look at past photos and allow memories to move back in as it was my form of grief moving forward. I will never forget my Tracy as you will never forget  your partner as they will always be with us  as we move on. I do apologise if I have caused you any discomfort of what i have said above and hope your time moving forward day by day is at your pace and your way. Michael ... View more

I spent every moment with my partner for the last 4 years. Every  moment in and out of hospitals.  Our last week was spent together in palliative care until he left me in my arms.  ... View more