My husband has been gone 11 weeks today.I miss him so much. The days do get easier and the crying well....I am doing well much better than I thought in fact I am proud of myself. I played songs today that were played at my husbands funeral and managed to listen to them without the tears.I sometimes describe grieving as a disease because it comes to you without warning.One minute your laughing next the tears will appear.Today I have felt really good but after finishing a conversation tonight with my 86 year old father in law it happened the tears.I absolutely hate the cancer so much for what it has done to my beautiful family.....tears again..... ... View more

I have'nt been on here for awhile so here I am.Last time I wrote my story of my son going through his cancer in 2011 and how we got the all clear with him only to find out my husband was diagnosed two weeks later with cancer. Although it was a different form.That was a year ago.In five days my chidren and I will be laying him to rest.He passed away last Wednesday the 13th.He's at peace I know there is no more pain for him but it's so hard.When he was diagnosed we were told maybe 3-5 years he'd have.He started chemo straight away for three months it reduced the tumours but we always knew they would never leave.After the three months he was on the tablets but sadly they did not work.Next was more harsher chemo this time that was'nt working either.Six weeks ago chemo was stopped he did"nt have long.From the very start he suffered alot of side effects you name it he had them all.The worst was nureopathy in his hands and feet.In the end his body gave up on him and it was quick and peaceful.We have been married 28 wonderful years two beautiful adult chidren.He was the most wonderful man, so special. My son was only 23 when he was struck done with ewings sarcoma cancer on his spine he had no movement from the chest down for four months.His treatment was 12 chemo cycles and 31 days radiation and months of rehabltation and many hospital stays.He is now 25,cancer free although there is the ongoing checks of course,fighting fit.He rode in the Conquer For Cancer ride in October last year. My husband had cancer of the colon,liver and lungs. He was'nt a drinker or smoker. We knew this was coming but nothing prepares you for it, it hits hard and it hurts. This site is great for anybody to write when they can't sleep, like me or to talk get it off your mind like me or just to read like me. I've been a carer for my son then my husband I did everything for them. Now its all stopped its weird. ... View more