I am so sorry to hear of your relational pain with so many health challenges as well. I can imagine that there are so many components to this for you and your loved one. One of the things that sustains me in my involvement with my mother's care is that we can draw on so many joyful memories as we interact with each other. Your partners willingness to embark on this journey with you with little foundation of shared experience and joyful memory making, appears to be a real sign of her deep commitment to relationship and to you. It sounds to me that your partner has just become incredibly exhausted, and that your relationship has become focused on the illness rather than each other. Is there a way you can engage more support so that she can step back a bit from the physical aspects of care, so that she doesn't always feel like she is looking after you? Are there people in her life who look after her? Have there been any fun times for you in this last year or so? Is there a counsellor with cancer care experience that you could see together that would allow you to work these things through? You have been through so much and sound so courageous and positive about this new chance at life you have. It sounds like the caring load may be a little less as your health stabilises. You have had enough loss in your life, and cancer has taken a relational toll. But although I don't know you, your words make me feel confident that you have it in within you to fight for your relationship just like you have fought cancer. Let your partner be honest about her feelings and needs. Cancer or not, we all make clumsy mistakes with communication in relationships, particularly when we are tired and overwhelmed. I hope and pray that things get better for you, and regardless of the outcome with your partner you remember that you are never alone, support and care is out there. ... View more

Thank you, great ideas. ... View more

The nursing staff I encountered when keeping Mum company during chemo were truly amazing, so kind and attentive. The chairs were comfortable, the room calm, and Mum made relationships with staff there that have helped her with aspects of her ongoing treatment across three different hospitals. Sometimes Mum would have an iceblock during treatment, I can't remember why now. As treatment went on Mum sometimes experienced some nausea before the treatment, they called this anticipatory nausea. As a daughter of a Mum I adore facing cancer treatment, I know I am able to cope better with my concern for her by being actively involved. I guess all hospitals are different but Mum's chemo ward never minded her having 1-2 people sitting quietly with her, and I know it meant a lot to her. Mum found the chemo very tiring, and the hair loss upsetting, but the only side effects that stayed with her from chemo have been some neuropathy in her feet. We did look into a fabulous program called Look Good, Feel Better just after her chemo. Although the dates clashed for us perhaps that is a program you could look forward to with your daughters. Hope your treatment goes well. ... View more