Hi CaptainAustralia   For me, the only answer winds back to that Manly Stereotype. Find your inner strength. Adapt and carry the weight of it yourself. Until you can't.   It's interesting that you should say this. I think, often as adults, there are things we feel that we just need to get on and deal with it. I've sought counselling or assistance from a therapist/psychologist on three occasions in my life. Two of them were around the time that my father died. The first one I saw was a therapist. He asked, and I told him why I was seeing him and what had happened proceeding this.  The look on his face was priceless. The next sentence was "I think given what you've been through you are doing amazingly well, but what can I do to help?". I didn't bother going back. The next one was a clinical psychologist, but after two sessions, she conceded given everything that had happened there wasn't much she could do. Righto. Next. I think you're right. I'll just carry on. Until I can't.   -sch ... View more

Hi JJ1, I'm very sorry to hear about your Dad and what he's going through. I say this as a patient, but also as the son of a father who died of bowel cancer. I think a lot of what you are describing could be a coping mechanisim. It can be very difficult to accept that the end of your life is rapidly approaching, especially if there are many things that you have not completed that you wanted to. Dealing with the fact that the end of your life is rapidly approaching can be very confronting.   Determining how long one has left to live is, I think, an educated guess. My Dad wasn't given very long to live, but extended that many times over.   As to whether it is fair to your father to ask the oncologist about life expectancy, perhaps discuss with your Dad that you would like to discuss this with the oncologist with him. Check with him so that he doesn't get any rude surprises during the meeting.   Best of luck JJ1.   -sch ... View more

Anihcup How are you ,have you started chemo yet . ... View more

Hi Marg4, I'm very sorry to hear about your Dad. This is a difficult diagnosis for your father as for those around him. The anger is relatively common issue (judging from discussions on here) for families of loved ones with cancer.   https://www.cancercouncil.com.au/cancer-information/when-you-are-first-diagnosed/emotions-and-cancer/dealing-with-the-diagnosis/#anger   I have first hand experience as both a person who has had a cancer and as a carer of a family member with cancer, so I have some insight into the difficult situation you are in. I think it would be a good idea for your father to speak to a therapist, but I know this can be easier said than done.   Maybe have a read through here of the experience of other members of the community who have had to deal with similar issues. https://onlinecommunity.cancercouncil.com.au/t5/Coping-with-a-loved-one-s-cancer/HOW-TO-DEAL-WITH-A-LOVE-ONE-S-ANGER/td-p/21922   -sch ... View more

Hi Albundy21,   Effect on my taste was minimal. It was there, but minor effect.  So taste is mostly back to normal. It was painful if I touched, drank of ate anything cold, but that has resolved. To this day I don't like drinking cold drinks (I prefer room temperature), but that is more because of remembering how unpleasant it was during chemo. No big loss there. So just loss of feeling/numbness in my feet. Feels like I am walking around with big thick socks on, even if I'm outside in the cold.   So no real complaints. Most of the side effects for myself are related to my surgery. I've had a few major surgeries, so this is to be expected I guess. I still have my family, I can still run and walk, I can still work.   -sch     ... View more

Hi Glenno, This is great to hear. I think that humour can be good at diffusing an otherwise tense conversation. Hopefully she's mostly managed to bash you back in to shape by now.   -s   ... View more

Hi Glenno, Welcome to the community with many people who have lived through shit times! 🤣 Seriously though, congratulations Glenno on getting to where you have. How long until you complete your operations?   -sch ... View more

Hi Rick So nice to hear from you “Thank You” for your thoughts and wishes. Im down in Perth for my last round (of a week) of chemo, then that’s me finished yehar. It’s been  a journey at times but it is what it is, still positive still focused still loving life so can’t complain. Struggling to put on weight but stabilised at around 72kgs so doing ok I wish you well in your journey keep kicking goals ok Kind Regards & Best Wishes for today and every day & Rick Blessings Peter 😜😜😜   ... View more

Hi Yasminemk,   I'm sorry to hear. I don't have breast cancer, but I can assure you that you are not alone. What treatment have you had so far? Do you have further treatment planned?   -sch ... View more

Hi Claire19,   He has had a huge shock. One day he was fit and playing sport and the next he has cancer. Cancer means you are sick. His world has changed. He just wants to feel normal again. The problem is he needs to learn to adapt to a new normal. That's the tough part. When I was diagnosed with cancer I actually had planned to run an ultra marathon within the next 12 months. After discussing treatment options with my surgeon we both felt a total colectomy was the best option. Two days later and I'm starting to panic. If I have a total colectomy will I still be able to run that ultra? I started to think that perhaps the best option for me was to cancel the surgery?   That's not logical, but that is what was running through my mind. One day you're on top of the world and the next you have this awful sickness called cancer.   An observation I had was that has humans, we tend to define "who we are" by what we enjoy doing. I've found the key to helping me change was to concentrate on what I could do.   Perhaps your partner is angry but he is still trying to accept the changes. Maybe he is scared about what the cancer will mean for the future?   Perhaps you could ask one of his treatment team to discuss with him the benefits of seeing a therapist? Or see if he would attend a support group where he could discuss with others who have had to deal with similar issues?   -sch     ... View more