Hi Eddymu I can really relate to what you're saying. About 18 months after my treatment ended, I went through a period where I was really depressed. I was really very well and I felt terrible for feeling the way that I had, when I knew that so many people either hadn't survived what I had been through or were much worse off than I was. I almost broke down on one of my appointments with my specialist and she sent me to see the in-house psychiatrist, who listened carefully and suggested a course of St John's Wort, saying that I had moderate depression. I took her advice and it did help. I'm not suggesting that you should necessarily do the same, though. Sometimes all that you need is someone to listen, sometimes you need medication. But please don't feel guilty. After a cancer journey, it's pretty natural to feel down. It's such an upheaval to your life, you no longer feel that you can trust your body, some relationships will have changed and maybe you constantly feel as though people label you a 'sick person'. That was what I felt anyway. I'm absolutely fine now and I weaned myself off the tablets reasonably quickly. Hopefully you'll feel the same way.
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