I think grief is an important emotion. I will grieve terribly if I lost my husband and I've always known that it will be really hard. My mother had a stroke and was paralysed down one side. She was in a nursing home for 10 years and I thought we grieved every day as slowly but surely she became weaker and more frail. My mother saw the time we had together as a wonderful bonus because she had the time to tell me all her stories and indeed it was a blessing. I thought I had let all my grief out slowly over those 10 years but no, I had still had more grief when she actually died. Imagine having absolutely no grief when someone close to you died. because they deserved none. Our grief honours the person that died. We loved them so much that we will always miss them but the raw, painful grief slowly becomes less. I had a long, thick gold chain with a heart on it. I would leave it with my mum and tell her I left my heart with her. She would give it back to me another day and ask me to take her heart with me. I wore it ever day under my clothes and tell my mum what we were doing that day. One day I told her we were going to catch my daughter's alpacas to go into a new field. How she would have loved that. The heart gave me daily comfort and made me smile. This heart would go to my eldest daughter when I died. I then had to buy another golden heart for my youngest daughter who would need it most. I wear both hearts and they store all the good times, all the laughter of the grandchildren, the celebrations and feasts I love and that my mother gave me through the gift of life. Perhaps you can find something of your wife's and through it heal your heart by doing the best thing for her which is to love and grow her son in the best way possible and heal yourself so you can be the best father to your son. I wish you every success in the future.
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