This wk has been huge, exhausting, defeating and trying. I can honestly say I have just dragged myself along.... Mon at hospital seeing chemo Dr due to an extreme rash from the chemo, constipation, extreme pain and difficulty breathing. Tues spent hrs at hospital having full body ct scan and ultrasounds. Wed picc line dressing and bloods - expressed some very adverse side effects from the chemo so chemo Dr sent me to the emergency department. We spent 10hrs there having extensive tests and make sure I did not have a blood clot in my body. Thankfully tests were clear, seems to be chemo is batting me round. Thurs chemo treatment for 4hrs - lots side effects coming through and draining me.....plus already my hair is thinning a lot. The hair I'm not so worried about cause it'll grow back.... Plus I have a lot of hair as its thick. What worries me is how sick I'm starting to feel and how tired my body is...... what worries me most is seeing Dan be superman with me, caring for me and leaving so little for himself and people giving him so little (everybody fusses over me but not him)...It breaks my heart to see his pain and fatigue. Times are difficult and I know they will get more trying..... I just have to jeep the faith, keep fighting and NEVER give up. "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us " Ralph Waldo Emerson
5 Comments
Rikki
Occasional Contributor
Rubes Sounds tough and I feel for you. It sure is a tough gig. Let people care for you and know that all on this site are sending you good wishes Rikki
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SILLY
Super Contributor
I hope you will continue to fight with all your courage . Dan will be ok .Just remember to tell him how you feel about his support .I imagine without him it would be so much more difficult for you . I have never had chemo but hear it can be a horrible experience but I suppose you have to keep telling yourself it is not forever . I continue to keep you in my thoughts . Those tests and appointments take up a big part of your time but hoprfully not always . When does your chemo finish?
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Rubes1984
Contributor
Initially they are seeing about what impact the chemo has on my cancer and how my body copes They said initially 4 months. However my treatment team are already talking about another round of chemo after the 4 months. Although I am getting side effects my body is fighting on and they are super impressed with my blood work and how my immune system is coping. It is wonderful news as my body does not seem to be rejecting the chemo - although I know it is early days yet and we need to wait to see how successful the chemo will be. I still do believe I can and will beat this cancer! I guarantee it will not take me without a huge fight on its hands. Thank you both Rikki and Silly for your kind words 🙂
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Sharon_mah
Not applicable
Rubes, I pray that it wil all get better for you. I can totally relate to you about how you feel with Dane's support. I also have had my partner by my side every step of the way, all the draining hours in emergency watching him sleep on the chair but not leaving my side,staying with me through all the chemotherapy watching me in so much pain, but not once complaining about anything. I see him as an angel sent from god to get me through the hardest time in my life. Our relationship has become so much stronger going through this together, we have been a team from the beginning and he is the reason i keep on fighting, and I know that our love will keep on getting stronger every day. I feel so blessed to have his love and I tell him every day. You are so lucky to have such amazing man who loves you so much and is with you in this hard times. We are blessed. Wishing you all the best with treatments and I pray it will be a better week for you next week 🙂
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maddie86
Contributor
hey there i know exactly how ur partner feels as my partner is the one with cancer.. but what will make him happy is just being with you and making you feel better... i to reached breaking point and was so tired and falling apart but took some time out and went on holiday with my family and now feel refreshed... it is good and important for him to have time for himself to recharge his batteries as it is for you... go and get urself a pedi and mani or just get a massage 🙂 i hope you start feeling better, i truly know how it feels when you start getting stuck in that 'hospital routine'.. is so shit! xoxo
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