How do you go on after your loved one is gone and you are left behind

[jan52]

My darling John passed away on Saturday. I am not coping, It hurts so much I cannot breathe. How are we expected to keep going when this insidious disease takes them from us?

[Rubes1984]

Hi Jan52, I am so sorry for the loss of John, I hope he is resting in peace. Unfortunately I do not have the words or wisdom u desire - I am on the otherside (fighting cancer). I guess all u can do is take each minute as it comes - cry, yell, swear, remember, pray and just be as u need to be. I hope the minutes get easier and I will be thinking of you. Take care, Rubes.

[Ron50]

Jan I am sorry for your loss .I can only pass on the words myDad said to me when I was getting over the loss of my wife and two little kids from a marriage break up. He knew I was very fragile and he knew where I was heading. All he said was Mate when you don't know what to do..do nothing and keep on doing nothing until the the path forward becomes clear again. So take your time to grieve ,remember the good times. Everytime a bad memory comes wipe it away with a good one. It won't happen overnight but if you are kind to yourself it will happen.Hugs Ron.

[Tassie_Devil]

Hi Jan, I am so so sorry for your loss. I wish I had some words of comfort for you. It must be so excrutiatingly hard to face life without him. If you can hang on to the wonderful and happy memories of the life you shared with him before cancer took hold,you can draw some strength to face each day. I hope the following days, weeks and months get easier for you and your family. Thinking of you. Love, Caroline x

[maddie86]

my baby passed away on tuesday.. i have no idea how i wil either get through this.. its fkd up and weird... i feel like a little girl again refusing stupid things like food and sleep. I miss him so badly id rather have broken legs and arms than this deep pain in my heart.. it hurts way to much... i dont know how we'l do it but i guess we will? xoxo

[Ron50]

(((((((((Maddie 86)))))))),Ron

[Rain_76]

Hi Jan, I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved John, words can't help but at least all of us do really know how you are feeling and we all care, hugs and love Lorraine.

[Groenevelt68]

It is hell, it is hard, you wake wishing you were not here, you got to bed at night crying, it is a hard roller coaster, one which you wish you can stop. You do not want anything, anyone, you just want it all to go away, the pain, the feeling of someone going in and ripping out your heart. The loss of your loved one, all you want is to turn the clock back, to have them here again. It will over time get better and by that I mean, you will develop coping skills, you will learn how to integrate back into society, the pain will always be there but it will become dull, the feeling in the chest also changes. The first few months are hell, the few after are worse, but hopefully in time the skills required to cope will come and assist. I feel your anguish, I understand your pain. This is a journey which no-one should have to walk upon, and for those that do, all I can say is, I send my love and thoughts to you all.

[Kerro]

Hi Jan, I'm also very sorry for your loss. My mother passed three months ago tomorrow. I never thought I'd make it this far and yet somehow three months have suddenly gone by. I can't say it really gets easier, but you get used to it, or something. As others have suggested - do nothing, put one foot I front of the other, spend time with friends and family just to pass the time. The other thing I did was do something each day - even if it was just the washing - it gave me something else to focus on, and something to structure the endless days. Eat, if you ca, and sleep. Take gentle care of yourself. My thoughts and sympathies re with you. Kerro

[karmacat68]

Groenevelt68... Very Well said....my thoughts exactly, you described the pain and anguish to a tee. Yes it does get easier with time...I think we learn to live a new normal and just keep putting one foot in front of the other until the fog lifts and you see the sun shining again. Thankyou for your insight and understanding. I too am a widow of 9 years. Jan, love and thoughts are with you through your journey.