My Dad has recently been diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer

[HELPLESSDAUGHTE]

-Hi Everyone, I have never used this website before and dont even know if it is appropriate as I am not suffering from cancer. I am the, 'helpless daughter' of a wonderful man who was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer on the 13th of November, 2008

[margro]

hi helpless daughter, i am so sorry to hear your dad's outcome.i am 3yrs6mths past being given 6wks.i was very lucky to be able to have surgery. be there for your dad.as long as his dr keeps up the meds he won't be in pain.maybe try getting him to eat soups and pasta.definately nothing with fat or oil. god luck and try and learn as much as you can about your dad.....first job,first pet..all that s..t so you know you wasted NO time with him! God Bless,Margro

[mazza]

Hi not so helpless daughter. You are there for your Dad and that makes such a difference. By all means remain positive, it can buy extra time Swayze is an example. My heart goes out to all of you. I am a three year survivor, I am sure a few of my chidren are still in denial. It is a common emotion for everyone. My advice at the moment could be wrong? But from a personal point of view it is a good time o reminisce and most importantly talk to each other. Please do not take this next bit the wrong way. I have heard of people that have parties, like a pre wake. Everyone has a chance to say how they feel and how much your Dad has contributed to their life. Thinking of you all.  Mazza

[HELPLESSDAUGHTE]

Hi Maz, Thank you so much for your email, Im sorry for the late response. You were so kind to write back. I have taken your advice on reminiscing about old times with Dad and the rest of the family it has brought many laughs amoung us all. So Thank you so much. I am so happy to hear that you are doing well and have a lovely family to help you. How old are your kids? and how do they deal with it? I worry that I want to talk to Dad about what he is thinking about the whole situation but am afraid to bring it up. I just want to get in his head and know he is ok. How do you talk to your kids about it? I mean I am a young woman but I guess it is a hard subject to discuss at any age. I just want to know he is ok, but I dont think he is. How could you be after being diagnosed with a short timeframe to live. My little sisters bday is the st of Feb and we all believe he is trying to make it to then I really hope and pray that he does. Im angry that I have to say the inevitable but its what the doctors have told us if only things could be different hey? Anyway hope to hear from you soon. Much love Trish

[benlisecca]

Oh, not so helpless daughter, my  heart goes out to you and I could just feel your pain and anguish reading your e mail - I just had to write something.  I really don't know what to say to you as nothing I can say will make it better or easier, I just wanted to know that I'm thinking of you and I'm sure that all the people who have read  your post are thinking of you and your dad. I have cancer and know a tiny bit about some of the feelings your dad may be feeling but each person is so different with how they cope with "the beast".  I've found with my "character building" journey that it is sometimes just as hard, if not harder, for family and friends as it is for the person with cancer.  Being the one with cancer I know exactly what the treatment is, how it effects me, where I am in the emotional rollercaoster etc etc whereas  family and friends  are a bit in limbo land - not quite sure what to say, what is happening,  how  the person feels.This forum is great but I often find it a bit slow on responses and I have found some of the  US  forums  have a lot more activity, mainly because they are so  huge - maybe you should log into one or two of them as well (but please keep in touch with us here).  The knowledge I have gained from others going thru the same thing  has been invaluable, if sometimes a bit daunting. I think I remember seeing a  pancreatic support group  in Oz as well that might be a  good place to visit as well. My aunt had pancreatic cancer 3 years ago and the prognosis was quite poor with the Docs only giving her a couple of months and  she ended up having a great couple of years to be savoured by her kids and grandkids.  I hope all is going well for your Dad and you have much more time with him than  any of the doctors have suggested.  I hope you will let me know how you are handling things and how your dad is  going.  I'm sending bucket loads of good vibes to both of you.Sharon xxxxxx     

[HELPLESSDAUGHTE]

Hi Sharon, Thank you so much for your lovely response. I have been caring for Dad and trying to work in the past 2 weeks and had not logged on. Your words were so kind and I would like to Thank you so much for even thinking to write back to me. I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering from cancer. My prayers are with you and your family during such a tough time. You sound like such a beautiful and strong woman. I wish you all the best for the future and trust you have many loved ones around you all the time. Your response made me realise that maybe I worry too much about how Dad is feeling and then he ends up more worried because I am worried when we should all just try and relax a little. Its so confusing this cancer business, one minute he is up and about the house the next he is hallucinating and confused as to where he is. I wish I could change things but I like to think I am doing my best to try and keep him in a positive environment. We all are as a family trying to stay strong and people cant believe how good we have been in keeping our house so positive and full of love. I have been so strong for the last few days but yesterday I began to worry again. It was about 40 degrees here yesterday and he was sleeping in a singlet and shorts. He got up to go to the bathroom and his shorts feel to the floor, he is so thin almost like an anorexic person I cant believe it he is normally such a tall and fit man to now being a tiny man who has aged 20 years in 2 months. He has completely lost his appetite and will only drink cordial or sustagen. I am so scared and afraid that it is all happening too fast. I must sound so irrational in this email jumping from one thought to another but Im just confused. I will keep you posted on his health and hope he can hang in their till my little sisters 17th birthday I truly think he is. I just wish life wasn't so unfair sometimes but as Dad says, 'these things are sent to try us" and who knows what the future holds. I think whatever happens we will all come out with a better perspective on life. Thank you so much again Sharon you are just lovely and I hope we can talk again soon. You will have to fill me in a little bit more about your journey with cancer. Much Love, Trish

[HELPLESSDAUGHTE]

P.S I am so sorry to hear about your aunt to Sharon. Its is fantastic that she got a few more years I am so happy to hear that. She must have been a very strong woman it must run in your family. I will have to ask you more questions about her illness another day, you may have some answers regarding dads hallucinations and fluid retention, only if you would like to talk about this i dont want to ask you if you are not comfortable to discuss such things. Thank you so much again xoxo

[HELPLESSDAUGHTE]

Just wanting to say a big Thank you for the support. Dad passed away yesterday peacefully with our family all around him holding him. It was so hard but he is at peace now. God Bless all people suffering with this horrible disease my thoughts and prayers are with you all and your families. We have decided to request donations to PANCREATIC Cancer Research, at Dads funeral on Tuesday instead of flowers. It is a cruel type of cancer and I feel is not recognised enough. Lets hope for a cure guys xoxoxox Much love to all of you

[margro]

you poor thing.my prayers are with you and your family. what a wonderful gesture you are making with  asking for donations to pc research

[Quijote]

to a wonderful daughter. As a cancer survivor myself, I can tell you that your dada would just have been glad that it was him and not one of his children. You clearly have loved him and it sounds like a wonderful family. Your spirit, faith and memories ensure that he never really goes away. Keep loving him and embrace the love that he had for you. take care and treasure your life.