Today I have spoken to palliative care nurses about his increasing decrease and that there are things where he is getting worse each day. They are hoping to get us into programme called palliative care at home which will mean I will have nurse come here 3 times a day and they are available 24 hrs each day to help, come to the house etc. programme only has very limited places, waiting to find out if there is availability for us to go onto programme.
My husband is in hospital bed in our room and has been for about 5 weeks but it is too short for him. Tomorrow we get new hospital bed for my husband, and companion bed to me, delivered to home which is longer and will allow us to sleep beside each other at night. Based on his very limited mobility my husband will be bedridden as of tomorrow afternoon when new bed gets here.
Yesterday I had to go out and was out of the house for less than 3hrs but when I got back I found his ability to speak clearly has gone. He struggles to think of what words to say at times, other times I can no longer understand wha5 he says. I knew there would come a time He would cease to speak but this would be if he is in a coma. For me most physically scary thing is majority of the time his eyes are rolling backwards into their sockets and I can see almost just the white of his eyes.
He told me this afternoon that he hopes to make it to the weekend to make it easier for his son to come and say his goodbyes but doesn’t know if he is strong enough to last that long. This son, my step son, lives 3 hrs drive away and is devastated emotionally not only due to loosing his dad but that due to coronavirus he can’t even spend time with him as we head toward the final days.
Within myself I feel, and dread, that my husband will only ge5 to enjoy very small number of nights in the new comfortable bed before his battle ends.
