Hi All,
Lonelyangel, it's like hearing my own voice. I have had cancer in my 20s (Hodgkins), and in my 30s (thyroid). I am now 39. It has been nothing short of hell, and I don't mean just the treatment. The lack of support I experienced was alarming and traumatic. I am very sure it contributed totally to my level of stress, and recovery. I believe that I have lived in PTS for many years, and I am frequently living in a dissociated state. My brain just couldn't cope with the situation. I can see something similar in you; you are not alone.
I live now, a reasonably good life and all, building my own business, rebuilding my social life, planning an art exhibition, and helping others. I live though with the memories of abandonment and cruelty, of neglect and ignorance, from family, friends, colleagues, and the community at large (I found no effective support anywhere). It is (still) very painful when my mind lapses, and dwells in that general area, but it's also something that I try to face, and "deal" with. Meditation and fun/laughter is good.
My perspective is less allowing than others, I see it's all well and good to say "people don't understand.." etc, but, I believe there's something more deliberate to the actions of many, and I have come to associate it with the animal instinct of survival, to put this idea simply: I have come to believe that some folks out there perceive us as genetically weaker.
I have also come to believe that, part of the trauma of an experience such as ours is that, we have witnessed firsthand this "unpalatable" side to humans, and it has invariably shattered some of our illusions of bliss that we were once existing in.
How do we go on, now that we see so much? That's been a hard question for me (and one that Jackson Brown tried to answer ;).
Some folks here haven't had the same experiences as I have (abandonment etc), and I just cannot relate. I can only fantasies on how different my life would have rolled, had I had the support. Our lives and experiences as people are all so individual, my brain struggles to understand why some person has help, love and support when I (and others) have had a lions share of lack(!!).
So, that's my bit to share. You are NOT alone, you are NOT going crazy. You probably are though, very stressed and freaking out; you have a lot on your plate, and it's understandable.