3 1/2 years after prostatectomy my life has never been the same, I had hoped the nerve sparing robotic surgery may have have left me with some kind of sex life after but no miracles to report, add to this a now very weak bladder (so much fun) . Would love to have implant surgery but the costs are so very prohibitive. I sometimes wonder if I should have had the prostate removed at all knowing the life I have now. Sorry to be so negative but I feel we should all know beforehand what consequences may be ahead. I guess the best way to describe me now is that I’m alive and still working and paying the bills but it feels like only half a life. Am I the only one?
Hello @rbx4 & Katekat,
Since I had radiation theraphy & androgen injections , I cannot relay any first hand experience on radical surgery. I can, however, make a few general comments based on my experience of prostate cancer and in listening to others who are in a similar position :
-There is no perfect solution for prostate cancer; whether one elects to have radiation ,androgen injections or radical surgery or a mix of all. Even if one elects "watchful waiting" there may be a downside in that it may
reduce one's life expectancy and there is always the ongoing stress of uncertainty
The best advice that I had regarding the downside of treatments was:
-just accept the downside of theraphy provided that you have had the best professional help available
with second opinions. (Expecting to be made whole again as per one's position before prostate cancer
can be considered unreasonable and, IMO, can lead to depression)
-Dont overthink it; there is a host of fantastic/positive things to dwell on.
-Keep in mind that the treatment of cancer is all about short term quality of life vs longevity .
-forgoing a 'normal" sex life for me is by far more acceptable than having my life shortened by 15 years
-Catholic clerics & nuns forego a normal sex life for life (or they are supposed to) in lieu of the hereafter
benefits and one cannot detect that they are less happy than the "practicing/bonking" laity.
-ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Theraphy) is very useful in the shorter term to facilitate acceptance
of one's current position, minimise suffering by seeking to accept the things that one cannot change ,
focus on the here and now, be positive and not catastrophise the present or the future and this can be
done one small step at a time
-Just imagine yourself a newly arrived androgenous Martian who has dodged the Morrison-Dutton blocade ( a jet person-not a boat person) having a Captain Cook at a pair having sex:
I'm sure it would look funny and perhaps at our age this is how we should be looking at it too & not
regarding sex as a dire/dour/essential part of our daily existence.
Perhaps others who have had radical surgery would care to comment on their personal experience and
their coping strategies with the downside of radical surgery*.
Cheers & a long and happy life
* keep in mind that radical surgery may not be the end of prostate cancer and that , on occassions, radiation & androgen injections may be needed later.
Hi, I have no experience of prostate cancer per se, but I'm posting because I worked briefly for a Urologist who also had an interest and expertise in Andrology, and one of his areas of interest was post prostate cancer rehabilitation. You are definitely not alone in feeling that your experience has changed you- the fact that post prostate ca rehab is a thing proves that. Have you been linked in with an Andrologist since your treatment? (I don't know how numerous or widespread they are, but the Dr I worked for was in Melbourne.) If you haven't seen one, they may be able to help improve things for you. Do let me know if you'd like further details of my former boss (if you happen to live in Melbourne), or maybe just google Andrologists in your local area. I wish you all good things. Emily
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