Meltx19 You are right to look realistic with Pancreatic Cancer , it’s hard to overcome the changes in your body that are there after surgery and also the mental side ,I think depression can come with this diagnosis ,Its understandable your husbands frustration ,but it does not help either of you ,I remember the worry and concern my family went through along the way,we did find talking about our problems helped ,nothing was taboo.It may help if you both chat to your GP about what is happening ,he may be able to suggest something more to help.The Cancer Council also have services available . It’s very hard to see a loved one go through this,yes it does hurt you very much watching what is happening and feeling helpless,that’s a very hard part of life ... View more

Meltx19 I had a Whipple in 2010 I remember the first few months after,yes the pain does stay around for awhile after surgery ,over a period of time it should become more bearable,the more he can move around the better it helps in a quicker recovery ,getting used to food and what you can eat is a hurdle in itself ,I lived on hospital sustagen smoothies with a banana blended in also scrambled eggs on toast you just have to force some food in ,I had Creon before food to help,in time the gas will settle,but it is still very early days for your husband I took a stool softener,So I wouldn’t strain,it’s trial and error with food but small portions are the way to go,everyone’s body reaction is different to the effects from chemo,have an open mind when it commences ,wait and see how it goes ,also try and take it one day at a time.If you have any questions just ask. ... View more

Sorry to read of your wife’s diagnosis of pancreatic cancer and that it’s incurable,I hope the chemo treatment and insertion of the port goes better when it’s done. ... View more

That is good news you stayed on this site,here is where you can come to vent your frustrations,ask for help and support,and reach out to others in need,we all cope differently with things in life,I have seen first hand the effects of depression with family and friends it can strike anyone at any time no one is immune,medication can help as well as counselling ,it is an illness that can drag you down,but as long as you can get out of bed each day you are working on overcoming the feelings that come with it,fractured families makes life much more difficult for everyone.A Cancer diagnosis can definitely be a factor in causing depression .I found talking to others in the same situation as myself  helped me during the difficult periods ... View more

Sorry to read that, depression can be a debilitating illness .take care. ... View more

That’s good you were pro active with counseling for your health,I was fortunate on diagnosis as my daughter moved back home with her children,to help my wife care for me,since then the roles are reversed my wife has Parkinson’s which is progressing I am her carer with help from the family so we have plenty of support.In your circumstances you have done your best caring for your Mum,please try not to feel guilty it’s a fact of life as we age our health needs change and hard decisions are faced. Doing it all for your Mum would have been extremely difficult mentally and physically especially as  you are unwell and a huge adjustment for you when she moved to a nursing home, hopefully  your Mum will adjust to her new environment ,when we are older we don’t like change for whatever reason even when it is the right decision.Wishing you the best. ... View more

Hi David A Cancer diagnosis brings many different feelings,thoughts,and concerns,wondering what lies ahead with treatments ,the question of is surgery possible,it’s normal to find it hard to accept a diagnosis,we all respond differently,I tried to take it one day at a time and had a chat to my GP about my feelings and thoughts,he was very helpful.It would be very difficult if an elderly parent has problems also. ... View more

That’s ok I still remember how unsettling it was for my family at that time the waiting and stress,I hope and pray it goes well for your Mum. ... View more

I had surgery in my early sixties I had a few other health issues but was reasonably active. ... View more

Has your Mums cancer spread to any other organs that also has a bearing on whether surgery is happening. ... View more