It's my favorite public holiday! (apologies to those who don't get a day off) I love the fact that we get a day off to watch some horses run around the paddock- I think it's quintessentially Australian. Of course, it's also about the fashion, bubbly and roses. If the rest of the country wants to come down for some fun, you're all welcome! x ... View more

Hi John, sadness and grief are very scary. Reacting to them naturally can be very valuable, though. Think about it from your Dad's point of view: your tears probably communicated how much you love him better than words could. I think it's also important to make a distinction between grief and depression. Grief is a natural reaction to sad events, depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain that is independent of events. Don't sell yourself short- you have had a terrible year, and it would be very unusual to get to this end of it without feeling battered. My husband was diagnosed with lymphoma in 2011, and during his chemo I felt sad and stunned, and just kept doing what had to be done, because I had to. It wasn't until he was in remission that I really fell to pieces. I started counselling in November 2012, because I just couldn't stop worrying about the future, and grieving over the past. The counsellor also diagnosed a life-long anxiety disorder at that time (which wouldn't have helped....) Counselling may be useful for you too, at some stage, if you feel that your grief is not allowing you to function. However, it seems like at the moment you're coping, but just worried about how you will cope in the future. It's a real cliche, but this is when 'one day at a time' becomes a golden mantra. (Or sometimes just one hour at a time.) Just take each event as it comes, and do the best you can with it. We can't live the future, much as we'd like to. Be kind to yourself, too- you're not imagining things, it really is that bad, and you've got this far. That's strength! Emily ... View more

HI John, you certainly have had a hell of a year. I do think you're strong. One of the things I learned during my husband's chemotherapy was that strength was not about not crying, but keeping on going through the tears. You obviously have been doing that. We're all here to cheer you on into 2014- hopefully it's kinder to you and your family. love Emily ... View more

Hi Melanie, I really feel for you. I totally understand about the cleaning, too! There's something about bringing order to the physical environment that is soothing. Sending you hugs through cyberspace. Emily x ... View more

Hi Maree, your post really resonated with me. My husband was diagnosed with lymphoma 3 years ago, and I remember thinking exactly the same as you. What I've learned is that strength is sometimes just getting out of bed and stumbling through the day, doing what needs to be done. It doesn't have to be dynamic or elegant, that's all you need. Just take each moment as it comes, and one day you will look back and realise in amazement how far you've come. Huge hugs my sweet. love Emily ... View more

Hi Hope ( I like your login!) please ignore the above post. People occasionally post spam on here- I've reported it to admin. Please don't think that all people on here are like that! I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. A cancer diagnosis is always devastating, but I imagine particularly so in your case. My husband was diagnosed with lymphoma 2 years ago, and, as his wife, I was able to ask my questions and have a bit of input into the decisions- I imagine as 'the daughter' you don't automatically get that. If you can, please do ask the doctors about what's concerning you; you have as much right to answers as anyone else. All the best beautful, love Emily ... View more

I hurt for you my friend. xx ... View more

I remember waiting for my husband's diagnoses- I think in some ways the waiting is the hardest part. At least once you have the diagnosis you know what you're dealing with, and what it isn't. Be assured that what you're feeling is(unfortunately) quite normal. It does suck, and we're here to be with you while you wait. love Emily. xx ... View more

Hi Elizabeth, I am doing well now, although it has been a long road. My husband was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma in April 2011. He has 6 months of chemo, and is just about to celebrate 2 years in remission. I was 'fine' during the chemo, in survival mode, really, but fell apart once chemo had finished and we were supposed to return to our normal lives (but it's never really like that, is it?) I had 12 months of counselling, which also uncovered a life-long anxiety disorder, and am now on the other side of that process. My husband is well, and I'm feeling much more peaceful and optimistic than I was before. Be kind to yourself- you've been through so much, in many different relationships in your life. I wish I could give you a mental holiday! xx ... View more

Welcome Elizabeth! This is a great place to ask questions, share experiences and just vent to people who know where you're coming from. It sounds like you've definitely had more than your fair share of dealings with cancer- I'm not suprised that you're exhausted. Sending hugs over the net, Emily. xx ... View more