Hi ShellyD   I am sorry to hear of your terminal diagnosis.  I don’t have breast cancer, but I do have terminal kidney cancer, & at the moment I am on my last available treatment.  I’ve been on this treatment since March this year & it’s only expected to work for 10 - 12 months.  So It will probably stop working for me by the end of November.  From then, I can’t see me lasting more than 12 months.   My way of handling this knowledge is to talk about my death as often as I can.  I probably mention it at least 3 times a week in normal conversation.  It grounds me & makes it not so scary.   One of the most horrible things about knowing you’re dying, is thinking about what you will miss out on.  So if I find myself doing this I remember that life will go on without me, & I have the faith that my family are strong enough to cope.  One good thing about knowing you are dying is that you can plan your funeral the way you want it to happen.  I am also secure in the knowledge that my husband will be able to afford my funeral as I have funeral insurance.  I also happy in knowing that I am leaving him my Super & life insurance.   Everyone handles things differently, but  talking about death is a very good thing to do.   Each day I wake up is a good day, & I live it the best I can.    I hope you can find peace in your thoughts.  Take care   Budgie           ... View more

Bikini 👙  ... View more

Stormy  ... View more

Hi Jaquie,   It’s a horrible situation to be in. There are counsellors you can access through the Community Health Centre as well as through this Cancer Council website.    The thing your husband needs to do is focus on the good in his days.  Each day he wakes up is a blessing as he has the time to spend with his family.  Yes, going through chemo is hard, & yes, he has a shortened lifespan, but he should try to find the good thing about each day, there’s usually at least one positive thing that happens in a day, & focus on that instead of how long he has left to live.   It’s not easy, but it’s a start to feeling better.    You’re not being insensitive, you just don’t want to lose your husband. You need to be a bit selfish because you are going to need to look after yourself too.    I know  it’s hard for your husband to be positive, & I understand how he feels.  Although my doc hasn’t given me a prognosis & I haven’t asked for one, at the moment, I would say I have about a year left of my life, unless a new treatment comes into play.   My chemo is a tablet I take every day until it stops working.  I’m on the last available one for me, but I have a lot to live for.   One of my daughters is getting married at the end of the year & I have another grandchild on the way which is due next year.  I have a positive attitude that helps me keep going.    Anyway, I hope you both find a way to work through what lies ahead.   You have my best wishes.    Budgie       ... View more

Hi Annette,   We’re moving down to Melbourne because my hubby is in the defence force, & yes the weather isn’t much better than Canberra, except it doesn’t get quite as cold.    Take care Annette 😊     ... View more

Hi Annette46   Good to hear from you & glad you're enjoying the sun.  It's wonderful here, when you can get a nice place out of the wind, otherwise it's freezing.  My daughter lives in Canberra, but we are going to be moving to Melbourne before the baby is born.  😞   All the drugs they use for kidney cancer have very common side effects.  You may not experience many of them though.  My constant companion has been fatigue, then diarrhoea, although I'm not suffering from that at the moment.   Your everyday life doesn't need to change much.  People say to me that I don't look sick at all.  But it's the little things that take their toll on me, such as; my nose runs alot, especially when I'm eating; my fingertips & heels can get quite sore (Hand & Foot Syndrome); my voice is usually always hoarse; the lining of my nose bleeds alot; my mouth gets sensitive; the fatigue varies from day to day.  Most days I'm fine to do a few things, but other times I'm really exhausted & sleep most of the day.   I think the worst of the drugs for me was Sutent (Sunitinib).  It made me vomit most days & gave me quite big nose bleeds.  Having said that though, everyone reacts differently so you may not experience anything like I do.  Also, you can reduce the dose of the drugs so the side effects are less intrusive.   Here's hoping the spot on your spine has shrunk by the next lot of scans!  Then you wouldn't have to worry. Cheers Annette   Budgie   ... View more

Hi there Diidee,    How are things going with your treatment?  Is the Interferon working?   Budgie ... View more

Hi Jess,   That’s an absolutely awful thing to have happen.  I am very sorry.    You say you’ve got your husband referred for counseling, but don’t forget about yourself.  You both have some hard days ahead.  Please keep in touch here.   I will always have an ear for you.  I may not be able to offer much advice but I will certainly listen & be of any assistance I can.    Take care Budgie ... View more

Hi Jess,   Welcome to this site, though I’m sorry it’s under such horrible circumstances for you.  I read your other post & know what you’ve been through.     I’m surprised the surgery on your husband still didn’t go ahead, as they knew I was stage 4 before they operated on me.   Has it spread to other parts of his body?     I am lucky enough to still be here nearly 6 years after diagnosis, but I think I’m an exceptional case as most of my mets are in soft tissue & not other organs.    At the moment, I’m on my last line of treatment as there’s nothing more available for me after this drug I’m on, so far. Hopefully, something else will pop up towards the end of the year.    Newcastle was lovely when I was growing up.   I’ve been back lots of times over the years & it’s changed a heaps.   The beaches are still beautiful.  How long have you been there?   Budgie     ... View more

Hi Annette I’ve been doing well with the cancer thanks.  The soft tissue spots are under control at the moment because of the Cabozantinib, which I do take every day.  I’ve reduced the dose to 40mg because I wasn’t able to handle the side effects of the 60mg.   It was making my mouth very sore - too sore to eat.    How are are things going with you?   The weather here is too cold to get out & do much, so I haven’t been doing anything very special.      I’ve had a single dose of radiation on my rib & it has helped the pain a lot.  The main pain I’m getting now is in my knees - arthritis.   I’m waiting for a referral to a rheumatologist to see if that’s got anything to do with it.    Anyway, as you say, we’re all getting older, unfortunately, time is flying by so quickly.  I have just found out though, that my eldest daughter is pregnant with her 4th babe.  It will be lovely becoming a grandma again.    My other daughter has just become engaged to a very lovely guy.   So far, it’s been a good year.    Take care Annette   Budgie            ... View more