Ohhh sooo cute ❣️ I hope you get through this, I’m lucky I can pet my 3 rescue fur babies. Hope those 5 weeks fly by fast so that you can finally cuddle your fur babies. Take care. ... View more

True about the nerves Vanessa - might be a good time to take up another hobby 🎯🎨🎶     ... View more

The penis is a funny thing.   Dangling between the legs like some kind of primitive war club.   Someone who loses any part of themselves has to find ways to adjust, and it must be hard.  I'd argue that alongside the physical, tangible parts of ourselves, like our arms, limbs, doodle - cancer can extract important spiritual pieces as well - things like sense-of-place, hope, connectedness.   Living without a former piece of yourself .. pretty hard thing to face.   But the penis - it's especially weird, I reckon.   We as a society almost NEVER talk about our penises.  I feel already that I've said penis maybe 5 times too many in this post.  Penis.  Penis.  Penis.   But we almost NEVER talk about them on a day-to-day level.   YET .. at a big picture society level, we obsessively acknowledge them - we design cars and buildings with unconscious or subconscious phallic influence, when we talk to a lady we look from her eyes to her mouth to her boobs, when we talk to a man we look from his face to his tackle-box and back.  When we stand at a urinal we take a moment to focus our gaze intently FORWARD because we don't want to accidentally glance sideways and look at someone else's dick.   Penises are supremely weird and powerful things.  (To be fair, so also is the amazing, mystical Vagina).   To have lost yours ... in my mind ... it's like a back-handed gift from God, mate.   Consider all the effort, time, energy, lies and misdirection, games and falsehoods that orbit around the ole pork sausage.  If I showed you a photo of two piles of mashed potato and a pork sausage down the middle, you'd have to struggle not to roll your eyes (or supress an adolescent giggle).   I think being without a penis, it's a chance to redefine a new, monastic you.     I know that might read as cold comfort, but I genuinely believe that in some ways being without a penis would actually be a liberating thing.  Mine has led me bad places most of my life.  In fact, my tonsil cancer was HPV+, and I think that the ultimate root cause (pun intended) might have been from .. well, as ACDC said it .. 'dirty deeds done dirt cheep'   I'm sorry for your loss, I truly sympathise.  It's good you're still alive.  I hope that being penis-less isn't as bad and as hard as I imagine it probably would be.  And I hope that, in some ways, there are unexpected positives.   My personal favourite penis-less character in popular fiction is that bald chap in Game of Thrones, I can't remember exactly, his name is something like Varys, the Master of Whispers (a kinda royal spy-master).  Very conniving but ultimately altruistic type of person.  Actually come to think of it, he may also have echoed that sentiment that being without a penis has helped him to engage the world in ways he never would have discovered otherwise.   Anyway sorry for randomly remarking on your life, best of luck, be well. ... View more

Hi Jerry   He looks every ounce a buddy; and a family member. Looks like you've got an SG sitting there in the background.   Thanks for posting the photo. How have you been going?    I've been suffering chemo blues lately. It's a drag. I try not to complain about a drug that could be saving my life, but it gives me a lot to complain about. On the other hand, it silences my own motivation to  complain.   Take care. Keep posting. Tell me about your guitar.   Cheers   Phil ... View more

Hi Rach    My catch cry is... Chemo sucks balls. You'll probably find that little rant on about 20 odd threads on this site. However, you make me feel like a sook. I'm about to start cycle 2 of 4. I decided chemo suck balls after one day. Having 18 cycles is tough. Stick to it. I hope you've getting the most you can from it.   Thank you for sharing your story. You've made me rethink some things I should have put more thought into. I've got a healthy and positive frame of mind to my cancer and treatment plan, but who's to say I won't be hit by a bus tomorrow. We are kind of lucky in a way, by having a time limit thrown in our faces, it kind of pushes us into getting our affairs in order. Maybe being too positive has made me complacent in this area.   I hope your oncologist appointment went well. I am seeing mine this morning. I need to focus on all the questions I need to ask. I'm feeling quite unprepared.   I've been lying awake for 4 hours. The alarm clock just went off. Now I feel like sleeping. I've not spent a lot of time on this site in the last few weeks, but I've been making up for it this morning. I worry more about starting my 2nd round of chemo than I do about cancer. I feel the effects of chemo. Didn't really feel cancer at all. Except when they cut the bugger out of me. Still feeling that actually.   Good luck with your treatment. Take one day at a time and get the most out of each one.   Cheers   Phil ... View more

Hi Madass   I recommend going to a GP and tell them you are concerned about cancer and ask for a colonoscopy. If they don't send you, demand it or find another GP. The sooner you catch cancer, the less treatment you'll need.   I was under the impression that blood tests will detect bowel cancer and I'd been getting regular blood tests for several years to keep it in check. As it turns out, if you detect in your blood, it's no longer just bowel cancer. Colonoscopies don't hurt and are life saving.   A number of cancers will slip through blood tests including anal cancer. Check your dignity at the door and do what you must. Timing really matters.   I hope you've already had a check up and it was good news. Don't be afraid to come back to this site and share your experience, even if it is a positive outcome. People here like happy ending stories too.   All the best   Phil ... View more

Hi Albundy21, Great article there. I've had numb hands and feet since I finished chemo. I suspect that after 12 months, it's not going to resolve and is permanent nerve damage. Oh well 🙂 -s ... View more

Hey mate, My Dad also taught me to play chess. Never let me win either! I still really enjoy playing. My eldest son (9yo) now likes chess and has been part of the chess club at his school since he was in year 1. Funny how these things have such an influence on the future. -s   ... View more

Hi Kate   Thanks for the reading material. Is this this your revenge for me sending all those empty virtual books to @Lehiatus  and @Lampwork54 ? You have to send me content! 🤓   Well done. Better effort than I. This should keep me away from Dr Google for a bit.   The chemo has been mostly tame since the first day. I've been feeling a bit over stimulated today. I think it may be the nausea drugs, only for two days after the oxaliplatin. I was told it was a stimulant and couldn't take it close to bed time.   🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨   We got snow in Canberra tonight. So cold on chemo-ridden fingers, but worth it. Nice treat.   Cheers   Phil ... View more

I didn't plan to. I've started growing a cancer beard. I also was trying to get my haircut before surgery. Never got around to it. This beard is tracking the span of my cancer treatment. I am starting to look like I belong in a 70's band, maybe the eagles. And this is an older photo.   I'm planning to grow my beard until chemo is done. Finishes in time to start Movember. I've start a team profile called Running On Empty. That's also my Camp Quality team name. And my ShitBox rally team name. (Cancer Council! Are you hering this? I want a spot in next years ShitBox. I think I qualify now.) So if anyone thinks they can grow a half decent mostash while on chemo, I throw down the gauntlet.   One of the main things I'm trying to do with my Movember team is raise awareness for bowel cancer. It is not one of Movember's main target areas, but I guess I have my own reasons for bucking the trends. So I have a goal. Through spreading the message about men's health, I plan to spread the message about bowel cancel. So I am looking for mo-bros and mo-sisters to join my team, who will spread the word, "Go get a colonoscopy". I want to tally the number of colonoscopies the team can inspire. Then next year, try to beat it. I'm not so worried about raising money. To me the message is more important. But the message is for men and women. Men just need more convincing.   Reach out to me if you want to get involved with my Movember team this year. Mo-sisters are most welcome.     ... View more