My heart goes out to you Darcy as my husband suffered mental health issues which was linked to his pancreatic cancer. Heartless as this might sound but you need to take care of yourself first, especially when he is in hospital. When he is in hospital and starts to get angry and verbally mistreat you, you need to explain to him you are not going to stay there if that is how he is going to treat you and just walk out. Walk out and leave him in the room. Talk to his nurse on your way out about what has happened can be good for nurses to try to help. You need to take care of your mental and physical health which might mean you might decide not to visit him in hospital each day. In our town the Palliative care team have a psychologist who assists patients and their families. If this is provided in your area this may be able to assist your husband but also yourself. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer in mid October last year. The mixture of emotions caused by trying to come to terms with the diagnosis, the impact of chemo on his body, the impact of him being an inpatient in oncology ward due to chemo side effects and related infections played heavily on his mind and he has suffered with mental health issues from not long after diagnosis onwards which gradually got worse. As the months progressed I found, for my mental health, I had to make time for me and also walk out of his hospital room on many occasions. My husband is now in last days but his passing is not being easy on him. ... View more

He is in last days. He didn’t get to sleep in the new bed we were expecting, he had been heavily sedated prior to it due to arrival, his legs have completely failed, his kidneys appear to be failing and he will spend the rest of his days at home with family sleeping in electric lift recliner. ... View more

He is in final days. Tuesday afternoon we were transferred to palliative care team were, once again, we have support 24/7. Long single hire hospital bed was due to be delivered on Wednesday afternoon and my husband was looking forward to sleeping at least one night in the bed but it wasn’t mean to be. Because his mobility was getting worse and he was so comfortable in lift recliner chair in the lounge room palliative care nurse suggested to my husband he spend the night in the recliner. We slept in lounge room beside each other that night which was a rough night. I had to phone palliative care nurses at 5:30 am as he could no longer get himself off the chair. Nurses were great and had to physically lift him from recliner to commode and then back to the recliner. He had some pain plus horrid chocking cough so was given some morphine plus maxolon via needle. By 7:30am he was trying to get out of the chair, was extremely agitated and was yelling but it was not his tone. Nurses came again, asked couple of questions and just started giving him needles. Once he was semi settled one nurse put him hand on my shoulder and told me the worst was over and it would not get that bad again. She told me that I had witnessed the body and brain massive struggle to try to fight off last days. He had 2 similar but not as verbally explosive episodes this morning where nurses attended both times, giving him morphine and medication to relax him both times. Palliative care doctor came late. This morning and has double dosage of both medication, he is now on strongest dosage of morphine recommended by manufacturers. He is receiving the meds as slow release constant dosages via a machine with hope he doesn’t wake or get agitated again ... View more

Today I have spoken to palliative care nurses about his increasing decrease and that there are things where he is getting worse each day. They are hoping to get us into programme called palliative care at home which will mean I will have nurse come here 3 times a day and they are available 24 hrs each day to help, come to the house etc. programme only has very limited places, waiting to find out if there is availability for us to go onto programme. My husband is in hospital bed in our room and has been for about 5 weeks but it is too short for him. Tomorrow we get new hospital bed for my husband, and companion bed to me, delivered to home which is longer and will allow us to sleep beside each other at night. Based on his very limited mobility my husband will be bedridden as of tomorrow afternoon when new bed gets here. Yesterday I had to go out and was out of the house for less than 3hrs but when I got back I found his ability to speak clearly has gone. He struggles to think of what words to say at times, other times I can no longer understand wha5 he says. I knew there would come a time He would cease to speak but this would be if he is in a coma. For me most physically scary thing is majority of the time his eyes are rolling backwards into their sockets and I can see almost just the white of his eyes. He told me this afternoon that he hopes to make it to the weekend to make it easier for his son to come and say his goodbyes but doesn’t know if he is strong enough to last that long. This son, my step son, lives 3 hrs drive away and is devastated emotionally not only due to loosing his dad but that due to coronavirus he can’t even spend time with him as we head toward the final days. Within myself I feel, and dread, that my husband will only ge5 to enjoy very small number of nights in the new comfortable bed before his battle ends. ... View more

Hi Lindsay, by time line you are referring to how long he might live for ..... when he was diagnosed in October last year we were given estimated timeline for life expectancy of 4 mths to 18 mths. ... View more

It is approx 6 months ago my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and his fight with this horrid disease is coming to and end so quickly. He was not too bad one day and within 48 hrs he stopped eating, is very confused, extremely tired and fatigued, is sleeping and drowsing approx 20hrs most days. At this stage I am giving him 3 endone a day to keep him as pain free as possible. 2weeks ago I bought him a car model, at his request, to work on ..... he opened the box once and has no interest in it ever again. I am going to miss him when he passes but watching him slowly fading away is emotional agony ... View more

Has been crazy last few weeks with my husbands health, trying to prepare to move house and few other things. We had nurses coming each day for 2 weeks only before returning to support from ‘in community’ which is usually once a fortnight. Palliative care nurse to come to our home today to do assessment regarding exactly what help we need and can my husband stay at home ..... his body is failing and he is gradually approaching last days. We want to keep him at home. We don’t want to have him go t9 palliative care unit. Is almost exactly 5 yrs since his mum died of cancer in palliative care unit in our town. ... View more

We have been told that ‘morning shift’ nurses will come each day  ...... they are arriving any where from 8:30am to 2pm and have told me it depends on needs of each person.  We get phone call from afternoon shift where they verbally ask few questions.  We do not receive any contact from night shift nurses as they start phoning after 10pm.     2of the nurses are wonderful.  One took the time to explain the benefits and full procedure of inserting needle into my husbands arm which stays there permanently and is used if he needs to be given injection. ... View more

On Friday last week I was offered by palliative care nurse to have my husband come home from hospital under program called ‘Palliative care at home’ and was explained this means hospital bed is provided to home for 2 weeks at no cost to me and I would receive support from palliative care nurses 3 different times during each day for 2 weeks.  I accepted this offer and hospital bed arrived on Tuesday.   my husband came home via ambulance on Tuesday afternoon.  I didn’t even get a phone call that day from a palliative care nurse.  Mid afternoon on Wednesday a palliative care at homenurse came to home and did provide great assistance in a very calming nature as my husband was discharged from oncology ward even though he was constipated.  Nurse was here for over 1 hr in the bedroom assisting to ‘get things moving’.  He left here after 4pm but that was only nurse I had any contact with or from for entire day.  About 1pm 2 nurses came to my home saying they are the morning shift of nurses and are happy to get my husband a shower,  he was still quite exhausted from the trauma of day before he declined the offer.  No other palliative care nurse contacted or visited yesterday.  Arrangement was made for 2 nurses to be here approx 9am this morning to get my husband a shower.  1 nurse finally arrived this morning about 10:15am.  I am now waiting to see if I have a visit or phone call during the day.  We are supposed to nurses come at 3 different times each day and this has only happened once each day so far.  Very disappointing  ... View more

Oncology doctors told us this morning that they are unable to consider trying another tap unless they stop his blood thinning tablets for 4 days prior to him having to be admitted for approx 3 days.  Has was placed on Lasix tablets on Wednesday evening and has lost over 15kg of fluid so far.  His abdomen is still swollen but is no longer firm.  At this stage oncology doctors have decided to wait and see how things continue with him on Lasix tablets.  Yesterday was good day as he sat of bed for about 6 hrs, went for 2 short walks and had moderate amount of food..... by 6pm last night he was exhausted and back in bed wanting to sleep.  He didn’t wake this morning until about 9:30 and didn’t get out of bed as he was feeling very cold.   At at this stage we are expecting hospital bed to be delivered to home tomorrow.  If this happens he will be transported home in ambulance.   Hoping he is able to be at home for next 2 weeks.  Toward end of that period we both know we will need to made decision regarding him being able to be at home or not but it will allow him home.   His dad, son and myself are hoping he will be able to stay at home until he passes away but we also know that this might not be possible and that we may have to make hard decision to have he moved to palliative care unit in our town.   ... View more